Winter's Rime
by FlowerPot21
Summary: Sara decides to make some changes in her life as she contemplates herself, Grissom, making love, and family...(SV, GS friendship, some WC)
1. Chapter One

Winter's Rime

Chapter One

It was chilly outside on the patio. Sara felt the goose bumps on her skin as she shivered a bit. Her dress bore more skin than what she intended, and she didn't want to buy it when she saw it, but Catherine would not let her leave the store without buying it, so she did, too tired that day to argue.

Sara looked fairly decent: she received many lustful side long glances from the men in the party at the long slit in the dress up to her thigh. The color of the dress was a striking lavender color that brought out her skin. The fact that it was strapless was what made her feel uncomfortable. Plus the slit.

Her hair was done up to, compliments of Catherine.

Sara was never one for parties. Office parties she could deal with, but bigger affairs such as banquets and the like she never liked. She hated dressing up and she couldn't stand the food. But somehow, her crafty coworkers convinced her to come to the Thanksgiving banquet the mayor was throwing at the Bellagio. Catherine managed, using her social ingenuity, to get them seated with the sheriff at his table. Sara admitted that it was a pleasure because the current sheriff was more down to earth and less egotistical than the last. He enjoyed drinking and eating as much as the next person.

Grissom, Nick, and Greg were seated at a table next to them.

But all of the above wasn't the reason why Sara retreated outside after dinner.

"Oh look," Catherine pointed out to Warrick. "Isn't that Sophia? What is she doing sitting next to Grissom?"

Sara looked over and saw the blonde haired vixen sitting unnecessarily close to Grissom. She felt the burn in her cheeks when Sophia began to whisper into his ear.

"She worked with Gris on that case with the missing hotel heiress," Warrick explained. "Apparently, they're still getting acquainted."

"How do you mean?" Catherine asked.

"Look closely," Warrick said.

When Sara watched with Catherine and saw that Sophia's hand was inching its way up Grissom's thigh, she felt fury rise within her. But perhaps the thing that made her most upset was that Grissom wasn't objecting, nor did he look uncomfortable.

Sara felt her breathing become labored and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes.

"Um, excuse me guys," Sara said, trying to sound natural.

"Wait, where are you going?" Catherine asked.

"I just need to get some air," Sara said.

"You want my shawl? It's freezing out Sara," Catherine offered.

"No, I'll be fine," Sara said as she headed quickly out to the patio.

So now, she was out in the cold, clear night, wishing that she hadn't seen what she just saw. She couldn't understand why she was so angry. She had not expressed as much interest in Grissom over the past year because she was simply trying to move on and cope. She figured, why should she expect any better of him? Hank had done the same thing to her. He juggled both she and Elaine, switching in and out of roles and worlds just to be with the both of them. Grissom was always transitioning from Sara, to Lady Heather, to Terri Miller, and now, to Sophia. It didn't make any sense.

It was some twisted game that he insisted on playing with her and she was getting sick of it. She could find no closure on his part. One day, he would be interested in her, then the next, he would shun her as if she wasn't even in his presence.

Sara felt her heart sink and she sighed.

Why did I even come out tonight? It's not worth it anymore. I'm not worth it, she thought to herself. _All the time, effort, and courage even, it took me to come to this silly thing, and now, I feel like a reject. Damn this all to hell_, she thought to herself.

Sara took off her evening gloves and stuffed them angrily into her purse. She took out a tissue and began to wipe her lipstick off.

"Hey Sara," she heard Nick call from behind her.

She turned and looked at him expectantly, trying to hide the hurt in her eyes.

"The party's inside girly-girl," he chuckled. "We miss you in there."

Sara smiled a bit before looking away.

"I'm sorry Nicky," she said softly. "I'm not feeling well. You go and have a good time okay?"

Nick smiled sadly.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah," Sara said with a fake assuring smile. "Go on."

He smiled at her then disappeared inside.

Sara looked into the party and sighed forlornly.

Why was it so hard for her to have fun and be happy? Was it some unfortunate gene she inherited from her parents? Sara didn't know, and she didn't care to know either. Her social anxiety had gotten progressively worse over the years, and she guarded herself closely around people who already had a foot in the door about her life. Her privacy was simply a part of who she was as a person, and if it was violated, she'd lose the very essence of herself.

She felt guilty at the fact that she completely wasted Catherine's time as well. She helped her pick out a dress, fixed her hair, did her makeup, fixed her nails. She was so grateful and she wasted Catherine's efforts. As a little girl, she never liked to be primped and proper. She preferred exploring in the woods to having her parents plan her own birthday party. What was it about her that made her so peculiar?

"Nice night out," she heard a familiar voice comment behind her.

For a second, she wished that she could have at least one minute of privacy to think about some things before turning around.

"Hey Vartan," she said casually before looking out into the pool area again.

He came up to her and stood beside her, smoking a cigarette. Sara smiled.

"I thought you quit?" She asked.

"Yeah well," he said before taking a long drag then blowing it out. "My ex-wife has been on my ass lately."

Sara nodded.

"So why aren't you in there?" He asked.

"Oh," Sara shook her head. "Formal parties aren't my thing."

Detective Alex Vartan hadn't known Sara for very long, nor did he know her that well, but there was a certain vulnerability about her that he sensed from their first meeting. Either that, or he found her extremely attractive at the time. That night he first came on, she was wearing a crème colored blouse with a v-cut that dipped low and it clung to her body like a second skin, showing the outline of her bra. Complimenting the shirt was a pair of dark blue jeans that fit just right on her. Her hair was straight yet full of body and it framed her face. If this woman had any doubts about being beautiful, she had serious problems.

"They aren't really mine either," he said, flicking his cigarette to the ground and crushing it. "But hey, I didn't want to pass up a chance for a free meal and free drinks."

Sara chuckled a bit.

"I know what you mean," she said. "I'm always too tired to cook."

Was she really doing this? Was she intimating her personal life to Detective Vartan? She admitted that she felt a little attraction toward the man, but she barely knew him, and yet she felt relaxed talking to him. She furrowed her eyebrows whilst looking at him. He gave her the same expression.

"What?" He asked. "Is there something on me?"

"No," she said. "It's just that, you're so easy to talk to."

Vartan looked down in bashfulness.

"No one's ever said that about me before," he chuckled mirthlessly. "In fact, most people tell me quite the opposite Sidle."

"That's hard to believe right now," she laughed.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around. He was unsure of what to say to her now. She looked gorgeous in her evening dress (purple was definitely her color) and he was trying not to stare at her too much.

"Do you want to go back in there?" He asked.

Sara shook her head.

"No," she said, thinking about Sophia and Grissom. "Just…no."

"Do you want to go get some drinks or something?" He asked. "On me?"

"No, I better not," Sara declined nervously. What was she? Fourteen? She could handle drinks with a male. She'd done it before.

Somehow, in some perverted trick of her mind, she felt like she was betraying Grissom somehow. The thought of possibly moving on with her life without him scared her to death. Grissom practically took her under his wing and taught her things that she held so near to her heart. She couldn't fathom the idea of testing the waters with another man. Yes, Alex Vartan was oozing both emotional and sexual relief, but she knew that she still had to work things out with Grissom.

"By your stunned silence, I'll take that as a no," he sighed.

"No," Sara piped up quickly. "I mean, yes I would love to have…coffee with you in the lounge. But I'd like to just stay out here for a few more minutes."

"Okay," he said. "How do you like your coffee?"

"Oh, um, two Equals and two creams," she said. "Thanks."

He nodded before going inside to the lounge.

Sara sighed and stared out at the serene pool area. She was thankful for the solitude. She wasn't enjoying herself very much at the dinner. She felt too out of place. She envied Catherine. That was a woman who could fit in easily to that kind of setting. Already so proper and prim, Catherine could mold herself in to Vegas's next socialite if she didn't work so many hours. She and her daughter could be so much happier. Sara wished she had that kind of social affinity.

As a child, Sara was never one to enjoy other people. Especially people she didn't know from Adam. The years in middle school were the most awkward for her. Her menarche came when she turned eleven, she grew tall and lanky, she had long, unruly hair, small breasts and secondhand clothing that barely fit her. She was always teased and she delved into books, music and track to keep her mind occupied and to help tune out the teasing. She was a loner, and her parents tried desperately to get her out of her room on weekends. They tried trips to the beach, outings into the city, eating out for dinner. Anything to get their daughter to connect with the world outside.

Sara chuckled thinking about her younger self. She had grown into a fairly decent, fairly pretty woman she supposed. She had enough admirers to assure her of that. Looks weren't everything. She wanted people to see her for who she was inside. She wanted them to see the hard working, dedicated, passionate Sara Sidle.

She heard familiar footsteps and she turned around. It was Grissom. Sara gulped audibly as he strolled out onto the patio.

"Sara?" He asked. "What are you doing out here?"

Sara scrunched her lips together and shook her head.

"Just came out to get some air," she said, turning back around.

She looked stunning, and Grissom couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"You look beautiful Sara," he said almost in awe of her appearance. "Are you having a good time?"

"I was," Sara said plaintively.

Grissom nodded.

"It's freezing out here Sara," he began. "Why don't you come back inside?"

"No thanks," Sara said, making her way across the patio into the pool area. "I'll see you later."

Grissom looked at her as she left.

Catherine was walking around the banquet hall with Warrick in tow searching for Sara.

"She's nowhere to be found," Catherine growled. "I feel guilty now. Maybe she wasn't having a good time."

"Don't feel guilty Cath," Warrick said. "She's Sara. You know how she is about crowds."

"I know, but I really was hoping that she'd have a nice time out tonight," Catherine whined. "I did her makeup for her and everything."

Warrick shook his head and took her hand, ending her search.

"You did a nice thing for her," he said. "I'm sure she appreciates that, but just give Sara some time okay?"

Catherine looked into his beautiful green eyes and nodded with a smile. He smiled back and squeezed her hand. He let go of her hand when Greg came by.

"Hey," he said, noticing their bashfulness. "Where did Sara run off to? I wanted to ask her to dance with me."

"We were just looking for her," Catherine said. "The poor girl just up and disappeared."

Greg furrowed his eyebrows for a second then he leaned in to whisper.

"Don't think I didn't see that hand hold," he said.

"Get out of here Greg," Catherine hissed.

Sara sipped at her perfectly made coffee, letting its warmth bring her body temperature back to normal after being outside in the air. The lounge was casual, and passersby were looking at she and Vartan strangely because of their formal attire.

They were seated near the window overlooking the nearby golf course. Sara was glad to be far away from the banquet now. She put down her coffee and took down her hair and mussed it a bit to get the tangles out. Vartan sat back in his seat at this action. Her move was overwhelmingly sexy and he had to look at something else before he lost control of himself.

Sara put her hair clips away into her purse then she picked up her coffee and sipped at it some more.

"So, what made you leave the party so soon?" Vartan asked.

Sara turned her gaze from outside to his eyes and shrugged.

"I just," she paused to sigh. "I guess it was just too much interaction for my liking."

By saying that , she meant seeing Grissom being nearly seduced by Sophia.

"What made you leave?" She asked.

"Bad seating arrangements," he said.

Sara chuckled at his agitation at that fact.

"Was it that bad?" She asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Bunch of rookie cops and their wives."

"Oh, I see what you mean," Sara sympathized, rolling her eyes.

A waitress came up to them.

"Can I get you all anything else? Some water, or some fruit and pastries?" She asked.

Vartan turned to Sara.

"Did you want something else?" he asked, taking out his wallet.

"Oh, no, coffee is just fine for me," she said. "Thanks."

The waitress nodded with a smile before leaving.

Sara noticed Vartan twisting his wedding ring around his finger, lost in thought.

"I thought you said you weren't married?" Sara asked.

"I'm not," he said, still looking at his ring. "I just keep mine on. Keepsake, you know? To help me remember the good times. You ever been married?"

"No," Sara said quietly. "I don't really have a desire to. I mean, if the right person comes along, if it happens, it happens, but I'm in no hurry."

"My parents rushed me into it," he admitted.

"Mine too," Sara said. "It was like they had my whole life planned out for me. Getting married at a young age was out of the question though."

"Marriage is overrated," Vartan chuckled mirthlessly.

There was a few minutes of silence as they both sipped at their coffee. Sara's hair had framed her face naturally and with the dim lighting, she looked majestic and exotic. Vartan chanced a peek at her over his coffee, and when he did, he met her eyes and he quickly looked away.

Sara noticed that he was glancing at her and she felt self-conscious.

He was fascinated by her. The way she looked, how her voice sounded, her job. He wanted to know every part of Sara Sidle. The question was, however, was she interested in seeing him beyond this tranquil retreat from a party?

This is interesting, Sara thought to herself. _But I don't think now is the time to start seeing other people_, Sara thought to herself.

"Sara," he began.

"Hm?" She answered.

"Would you like to go out to eat after shift some time?" He asked a bit nervously.

Against her better judgment, she nodded.

"Sure," she said with a bit of a smile. "I'd like that very much."

Vartan nodded.

"Okay," he said before glancing at his watch. "Do you have a ride?"

"Yeah," Sara said. "Do you have to leave so soon?"

"Yeah, chief is gonna be on my ass if I'm late to work again this month," he sighed. "But, I guess I'll see you later? I mean, you can call me and set up a time to go out. Or I can call you or whatever. Here's my cell number and my home number if-"

"Vartan," Sara interrupted with a smile. "I have both of your numbers in my cell and you have mine, remember?"

Why did he feel so nervous around this woman?

"Oh, okay," he said. "Bye."

"Goodnight," Sara said.

She leaned in rather awkwardly and hugged him.

"Thanks," she said.

He nodded then turned around and left, regaining his composure.

Sara smiled a bit.

"Sara Melissa Sidle!" She heard Catherine's shrill voice call.

Sara turned with furrowed eyebrows to Catherine.

"How did you know my middle name?" Sara asked abruptly.

"Never mind that," Catherine growled angrily. "Where the hell have you been girl? I've been looking all over the place for you! And you took down your hair?"

"Catherine, I really appreciate what you did for me," Sara explained. "I just was uncomfortable…I planned on coming back, but-"

"Was that Detective Vartan that just left you?" Catherine asked with narrowed eyes.

"Well," Sara began. "I was outside on the patio when he approached me. We started talking and he asked me to have some coffee with him."

Catherine nodded, looking a bit forlorn at the fact that Sara had taken down her hair. Catherine took a strand of Sara's hair and sighed.

"You don't give yourself enough credit Sara," Catherine sighed.

Sara sighed and hugged Catherine.

"Thanks so much Cath," Sara said. "I really was having a good time."

"Good," Catherine said. "Are you ready to leave?"

"No, I'll be ready whenever you, Nick, and Warrick are ready," Sara said. "Don't let me spoil your evening. I think I'll just walk around a bit."

"Okay," Catherine said.

Sara walked along in the small courtyard at the hotel. She made sure to turn her cell phone on so that she would know when Catherine was ready.

She sat down on a bench and took off her heels. She winced in pain as she took them off and she massaged her feet.

"Mind if I sit?" She heard a familiar voice ask.

It was Grissom again.

"No," Sara said, moving over to let him sit by her. She resumed massaging her feet, still wondering how Catherine found out what her middle name was.

"You look cold," He said, beginning to take off his jacket.

"Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving," Sara snapped.

Despite her obvious objection to him offering her his coat, he put it around her shoulders anyway, and she back off, letting the warmth off it seep into her skin. She could smell his cologne on the jacket and his soap. A smell that she was familiar with. It filled her senses and made her feel even warmer.

_Why does he have to be so wonderful?_ She wondered to herself

Conversation used to come easy to them. Now, he wondered what had gone wrong in their relationship to where they couldn't talk or banter like they used to. Not that he wasn't taking any blame for the decline in their ability to work together, but sometimes, he could almost see Sara withdrawing into herself and it scared him because she never used to be that way. The opinionated, passionate, and compassionate side of her had disappeared. Or was that her real self? The Sara these days was intensely guarded and reserved, bottling up her feelings until she imploded.

He'd seen her when she walked into the banquet. She looked ravishing. She looked like she belonged in that kind of setting. Suddenly, she walked out, a look of hurt written all over her. He wished that she could be happy.

"Shouldn't you be heading back in?" Sara asked. "You are a supervisor after all. Someone important might want to speak to you or something."

He smirked.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" He asked.

"Maybe," Sara said, not looking at him.

He decided not to take that conversation to the next level and changed the subject.

"I saw you and Detective Vartan in the café," he began.

"And?" Sara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you two…" He paused, unsure of what phrase to use.

"Why are you asking?" She asked rather bitterly. "Because the last time I checked, my personal life was none of your business."

"And because you wouldn't open up, your personal life almost got you arrested," Grissom snapped, then, by the look on her face, he immediately hated himself.

"Me not opening up?" Sara asked incredulously.

"Yes!" He growled. "You're so damn uptight and you let whatever's bothering you consume your life!"

Sara was plenty furious with him, wanting to shout and hit him upside the head, but she couldn't do that. He was still her supervisor after all. Instead she looked at him with disgust and stood up, pulling on her shoes.

"Go to hell Grissom," she hissed as she threw his jacket at him.

She walked off, her heels clicking on the floor harshly from angry steps.


	2. Chapter Two

Winter's Rime

Chapter Two

Sara had taken a cab home from the party, calling Catherine and telling her how sorry she was and that she would be okay.

Catherine called her to see if she was okay, and she explained about Vartan and how it was completely friendly at this point. Catherine sounded doubtful about that fact, but she agreed with Sara anyhow, but still encouraged her to try going out with Vartan more often, just to test the waters a bit. She also explained about her conversation with Grissom.

Sara was feeling completely overwhelmed by everything in her life so far. Ecklie had split up the team for good, not hinting at a chance of a reunion anytime soon. Catherine had intimated to her over the phone how awkward she felt working with just Warrick and Nick. Sara knew how Catherine felt about him; it was no secret.

Sara shook her head and decided not to think about anything work related until she actually got to work.

For now, all she had to do was stay warm in her apartment, and work on her small dinner of steamed vegetables with gravy. It was her favorite.

She made herself a cup of tea to go with her dinner before sitting down to watch television. She had done just fine after her counseling, which Ecklie had tried to pry into but she didn't let him. She had not had a drop of alcohol since her DUI and she began to learn how to separate work from her personal time. Her case loads hadn't been as stressful nor as emotional lately, so she could easily discard her memories of them.

She looked around her tiny apartment. Even though she was feeling better emotionally, she still felt isolated in her apartment. It was supposed to be a quick fix until she found a bigger apartment when she first came to Vegas, but for some odd reason, the studio apartment grew on her and she stayed permanently. Now five years later after many tears, rants, broken vases, thrown books, and pinned up case files on the wall, she knew that it was time for a bigger place to live and breathe.

She stuffed a carrot into her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. Where would she like to live? In a condo or an actual house? She couldn't decide. She weighed the benefit of a house: permanent ownership, personal style, farther away from work since it was in the suburbs, pleasant surroundings beyond the city and a view. A condo: like owning a house but she still had other tenants living next to her, hearing her and making her have to be careful all the time. She went for a house. She could afford one with her salary and her savings.

She smiled at the prospect of owning a house. She thought of ways she could decorate and add her personal flavor to it. She thought about wide open spaces, and large, beautiful windows, letting light in.

She would start looking for a house after the next shift. It would be a pleasant change for her. A nice spacious, one story house for her to live in sounded just fine with her.

Sara smiled with excitement over the idea of buying a new house. Of course, she knew that it would be a long process of finding the right one for her. She already knew that she couldn't afford Summerlin. That was a given. She didn't want an area that was too populated either.

She waved off her thoughts, deciding to worry about it when she got off shift.

She dreaded having to face Grissom. But she couldn't hide in her corner forever. Her anger got the best of her. Maybe it helped him realize what kind of man he had become. The Grissom at present and the Grissom from years ago were two different men. The Grissom now was intensely clandestine, insensitive, and often inattentive. The Grissom from years ago was thoughtful, caring, and passionate about everything he did. When he began to change, she changed right along with him, showing that she loved any part of him.

"I love him," she whispered quietly.

That was hard to say aloud, even in her own presence. She had been feeling the words on the tip of her tongue since the first day she met him. She knew he felt the same about her, but he had odd ways of showing it. Like the plant for instance. What was that supposed to mean? She had tended to it ever since she got it even though she didn't really have a green thumb. His small speech to Dr. Lurie shed some light on how he actually felt about her. He loved her but he loved her to a point. He would lose everything he worked so hard for in his career. It was understandable, but she wished that he had followed his heart rather than his brain.

Thus was the never ending cycle of their love-hate relationship. Sara wanted it to stop. It had taken up the past five years of her life and she felt like she was drowning. She was more than ready to move on and to just live her life.

Once through with her dinner and tea, she washed out her dishes, turned off the television, then she went to bed, her mind still reeling off of the prospect of buying a house and starting the changes in her life.

Sara found Grissom in his office as usual rubbing his temples. She knocked on the doorframe and he looked up.

"Come in," he sighed. "Close the door behind you please."

Sara came in and did as he requested. She ran her fingers through her hair and sat down. She didn't make eye contact with him at all. Instead, she looked around his cluttered, quirky office and sighed before she began talking.

"Grissom," she began. "Look, about what happened at the banquet, I didn't mean to get so angry at you."

He looked up at her with his blue eyes and frowned deeply before looking back down at his paperwork, taking off his glasses.

"I should be the one apologizing," he said calmly. "I know that what I said hurt you, and that wasn't my intent."

Sara nodded.

"What happened to us Grissom?" She asked.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "Things have changed so much around here. I guess we just, lose sight of what's most important."

Sara raised her eyebrows and nodded.

"Well, thanks for being so understanding Griss," Sara said with a slight smile.

She was relieved at how smoothly things went between she and Grissom. She was in a much better mood, and she was glad that they had at least resolved some of the tension built up between them.

Sara picked up the case file she was working on and headed to the layout room. Sophia had already taken it up.

"Hey Sara," she said, not looking away from the evidence on the table.

"Hey Sophia," Sara greeted. "What are you working on?"

"Oh, just following up, to make sure I didn't miss anything in my report," Sophia explained. "Paperwork is everything in this job."

Sara rolled her eyes.

"_Evidence_ is everything in this job," Sara corrected.

"I disagree," Sophia said, looking up abruptly.

"Well disagree all you want," Sara chimed. "But on this shift, nothing matters but the evidence."

Sophia looked at Sara challengingly and Sara was ready.

"I believe that _opinion_ is up to our supervisor," Sophia snapped.

"And he'll tell you the same damn thing I'm telling you," Sara hissed, putting her hands on the table.

The two women stared each other down before Sara took her file and left.

She found peace in another layout room and began to examine her case again. Somehow, she managed to concentrate on her case through the excitement of house hunting after work, that is, if she wasn't too tired. Her run-in with Sophia only energized her and made her feel more confident not only as a woman scorned, but as a CSI. She felt even more pride in her work for knowing what was most important: the evidence.

She heard a knock at the door and she looked up.

It was Greg.

"Hey Greg," she said. "How'd it go with Doc Robbins's follow up?"

"It was fine, we found a few things we missed at the prelim," he explained.

"Good," she said. "You're doing a great job so far Greg. You'll be a CSI level one in no time."

"I feel like I'm in school all over again," he sighed.

"Well, the more you learn, the better at this you'll be," Sara said as she flipped through crime scene photos.

Greg sat down on the stool next to Sara.

"This whole breaking up the team thing really bites," he commented. "How could Ecklie do this to us? We were almost like family. I looked forward to seeing you guys together every night."

Sara sighed.

"Things change Greg," she started. "It was bound to happen one of these days. Change is good sometimes."

"Not this change," he said, resting his chin on his fist.

Sara smiled a bit at his sad mood. Greg was like the little brother she never had. He still had so much to learn about being a CSI. Relationships change, the people you work and relate to change all the time. Sara couldn't handle that aspect of life mentally until now, explaining that cycle to another. Eventually, one comes to grips with that cycle and it leads them to places that just might make life a little better.

"So, what's this I hear about you and Detective Vartan?" Greg asked.

Sara glared at him.

"There's nothing going on between us," Sara said indignantly. "I mean, we had coffee at the hotel together. So what? It's not like I'm marrying him or anything. We're just building a friendship, that's all."

"How can anyone be friends with that guy?" Greg asked. "He rarely laughs, I don't even think the man's mouth has the muscle capacity to smile, and he has no emotion whatsoever on his features. What's there to even have coffee with that guy?"

Sara chuckled.

"Well, he certainly surprised me," she said. "He's a nice guy when you get to know him."

"He's only a nice guy around you because he thinks you're hot," Greg embellished with a smile.

Sara swatted his arm.

"Thanks, but I don't need your flattery Greg," Sara said.

"It's not flattery," he said. "That's what one of his detective buddies said."

Sara shook her head doubtfully.

"We're attracted to each other, yes, but we don't think of each other in that way," Sara defended. "We're just friends."

"Yeah," Greg chuckled. "That's what Catherine and Warrick are going to say when they get caught doing-"

"Alright! I don't need a visual!" Sara hissed.

"Well, I hope that you and Vartan work out," Greg well-wished. "As long as you're happy."

"Thanks Greg," Sara said. "You're such a charmer."

"Yeah well," Greg said, puffing out his chest a little.

Sara rolled her eyes.

The diner was nice and comfortable.

The early morning sun came up brightly over the horizon, casting a glow in the restaurant, eliminating the need for lights.

Detective Vartan ordered coffee to start.

"How was shift?" He asked Sara.

"It was okay," she said. "Not as stressful."

"Good," he said, fixing her coffee for her.

Sara inwardly smiled at that. She tried to tell him that she could fix her own coffee, but he insisted on fixing it for her saying, "Just relax," and she did so, taking off her coat and setting her purse aside.

"How was your night?" She asked him.

"Paperwork," he said with furrowed eyebrows. "Doesn't make for an exciting night."

"I know," she sympathized. "I hate doing paperwork. I wonder how many trees are wasted for paperwork for law enforcement, and then how much paper is wasted when people make errors on them and throw them away."

Vartan looked at her with a slight grin.

"What are you? A tree hugger or something?" He asked.

"Would you still like me even if I was?" She asked challengingly.

"Maybe, if you weren't the type to go up to a forest and lay in front of a bulldozer," he joked.

Sara chuckled.

"Well, I'm not a tree hugger," she said. "I was just wondering about that. Completely random thought."

They sipped at their coffee in comfortable silence before looking at the menu.

"Have you ever tried the Fiesta Breakfast?" Vartan asked.

"No," Sara said. "Is it any good?"

"Yeah," he said. "But this place had to get some better tasting chorizo."

"It has meat?" Sara asked, grimacing.

"Yeah," he said. "Oh, you're vegetarian aren't you Sidle?"

She smiled.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "And, it's Sara."

He looked up at her from the menu and grinned.

"Alex," he said.

They held each other's gaze for a moment before looking back at the menus.

"I think I'll have the vegetarian omelet," Sara said.

"I'm getting the Fiesta Breakfast," Alex said. "But nothing compares to my mother's cooking. She always made the most delicious scrambled eggs and tamales for breakfast when I was a kid. I'm surprised I'm not about a hundred pounds overweight right now."

"Are you Mexican?" Sara asked.

"Yeah," he said. "What are you?"

"Well it's complicated," she said. "Large family."

"Yeah, mine too," he said. "But we all live here in Nevada. Every Sunday after mass, we have dinner together. It's wild."

Sara laughed.

"I can imagine," she said. "But you're lucky to have such a large family so close."

She didn't like talking about her family that much. She had finally gotten up the courage to divulge to Grissom a little about her family and the struggles she'd been having with them over the years.

"I gather you don't like talking to them too much," he guessed.

"No, it's not that," she said, not believing that she was sharing this much about herself. "We were never close, even when I was a kid."

"I'm sorry," he said solemnly.

"Don't be," she said, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Alex spoke no more of the matter deciding that talking about her family was a rather touchy subject.

They ordered their breakfasts then sat in silence again.

Sara glanced at Alex every few seconds or so, sometimes catching his glances.

He's handsome, she decided. _Actually, he's quite sexy. He's cute when he's at a loss for words. Is he even interested in seeing me beyond this? So far we have large families in common and we have sort of the same occupation._

, she decided. 

"I'm going house hunting after breakfast," Sara started nervously. "You can come if you want, I mean, you don't have to-"

"Sure," Alex said with a grin. "What kind of house are you looking at?"

"Oh, just a one story," she explained. "But I've lived in a studio apartment for the last five years and it's getting crowded."

"I know what you mean," he said. "When I first moved out of my mom's house, I lived in the smallest one bedroom apartment on the planet. But I found myself a nice little house that was livable. My wife never liked it though."

Sara smiled a bit thinking about whether or not she should ask him about his first wife. They had revealed so much about each other already, what difference did it make?

"Um, do you ever miss your ex-wife?" Sara asked, immediately looking away from him.

Alex shrugged.

"Sometimes," he said. "When I think about the good times we had, yeah, I miss her. But my first wife was just…she wanted more than what I could give her."

"How long were you married?" Sara asked.

"Seven years," he said. "On our sixth anniversary, she told me that she had been seeing another man and that she was pregnant by him."

Sara's eyes widened.

"Oh my God, that must have been heartbreaking," she said sympathetically.

"But, I forgave her and stayed with her," he said. "Ironically, she asked for a divorce because she thought that I didn't do enough for her."

Sara felt the anger swell within her. How could people hurt the ones they loved the most. No one deserved such hurt in their lives.

"You must have loved her very much," Sara said.

"I did," he said. "But, I guess we weren't meant to be. She married the father of her child. She seems much happier now."

Sara sighed.

"I've never been married, but I've been cheated on a few times," Sara said. "Why can't people be honest? I mean, if that person really loved you, they would just tell the truth, no matter how painful the truth is."

Alex knew about the rocky relationship between she and Grissom. He knew, through office gossip, that she had feelings for Grissom. Alex opted against broaching that subject.

Me and Sara have sort of a good thing going here, he thought to himself. _This may be a new part of life for both of us._

, he thought to himself. 

The waiter brought their breakfasts to them. Sara picked at her eggs, now unappetizing because of her nervousness around Alex. She was also excited about looking at houses that she might want to buy. She took a few bites of her meal before sipping at her coffee.

Alex noticed her lack of appetite as he forked some more of his breakfast.

"I thought you were hungry?" He asked.

"I thought so too, but I guess my eyes were bigger than my stomach," she chuckled.

He grinned at her statement and stared deep into her eyes.

"Alex," Sara began. "You don't have any reservations about whatever this is between us do you?"

"No," he said. "Do you?"

"No," Sara said. "I haven't done this in a while, so I'm just a little nervous."

"We'll take this slowly," Alex said.

He reached across the table and rested his hand on her own. Shivers ran up her spine at their contact, and she delighted in that. She felt surges of feelings she hadn't felt in a while, and looking into his eyes, she saw the same effect taking hold of him as well. They both pulled their hands away slowly, savoring the contact.

Sara and Alex's steps echoed through the empty house as they decided to take their own tour rather than follow the real estate agent, who was frantic and maddeningly perky. Sara just marveled at the house instead of the agent's impossible happiness.

She liked the high ceilings, the spacious formal and family living areas, the kitchen, and the windows were beautiful. The bedrooms were all reasonably sized, and she especially liked the master bathroom. Being a woman partial to bath salts and scented shampoos and candles, the huge bathroom was a Godsend. It had a deep tub, big enough for two, a shower stall next to it, complete with seats and a detachable shower head. She was slowly falling in love with the house and it was only the second one she was looking at.

Alex had digressed into the backyard, and there was a large window that allowed Sara to see him outside. He had both hands in his pockets, and he was looking around the yard with what looked to be an expression of possibilities. Sara didn't picture him as the outdoorsy type, though. He seemed intensely private and rebellious, like herself.

Sara finally caught up with the agent, and smiled in appreciation for the tour, even though she had missed some important features about the house, like the home theater below in the den. Alex eventually came back into the house and wandered back to where Sara was.

"How did you like the house?" He asked. "Does it suit you?"

"Nah, it's a little too big for one person," Sara rationalized. "A nice, smaller, starter home would be nice."

They both thanked the realtor and headed out.

He opened the door for her and then proceeded to drive her home.

There was little conversation between them, both contemplating what was next in their new friendship.

"Well, this is me," Sara said. "Thanks for a great morning."

"You're welcome," Alex said. "I'll call you. Or you can call me, whichever you prefer."

Sara smiled at his indecision about the phone calling.

As if some force of nature moved over them, they leaned in closer for a tender, quick kiss before Sara pulled back and grinned.

"See you later," she whispered.


	3. Chapter Three

Winter's Rime

Chapter Three

Sara was in the middle of a bubble bath when her phone rang, rudely destroying her relaxed mood. She prayed that it wasn't work as she leaned over to the toilet to pick up her cordless.

"Sidle," she said rather grouchily.

"Hey Sara, it's Alex."

"Oh," she said, her mood softening a bit. "Hey! I'm sorry for snapping into the phone. I thought work was calling me."

"Oh," he chuckled.

"So," Sara began. "You finally decided to call me."

"Yeah," he said. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking a bath," Sara said, lowering her voice to a soft, sultry tone. "What are you doing?"

"Uh," he stammered. "Nothing in particular. I'm off tonight."

"Me too," Sara said.

"Do you want to go out to dinner?" He asked rather nervously.

"Yeah," Sara agreed. "But it's still early. Let's sit and talk for a bit while I soak."

She heard an unmistakable gulp on his end and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Alex, you still there?" She asked.

He did not answer for a few seconds.

"Alex?" Sara inquired again.

"Sara?" He inquired. "You still there?"

"Yeah," she said. "What happened?"

Little did Sara know that Alex was sitting in his living room, desperately trying to keep himself under control. Sara was not helping with her smoky, seductive voice and the fact that she was soaking in a bath tub.

I shouldn't be thinking about her like this, he thought to himself. _But Sara in a bathtub over the phone…stop!_

, he thought to himself. 

"Alex, I'm going to hang up," Sara threatened.

"No!" He protested. "I'm sorry. It's just you and the whole bubble bath thing is a little distracting."

"Well, then let's talk about something else," She said. "Anything interesting happen lately?"

"Well, yeah, but it involves my ex-wife, and you probably don't want to talk about that," he said.

"Alex, I just want you to know," she began. "You can talk to me about anything."

He sighed and began talking about his week. Sara found every part of him interesting, and she loved hearing his voice, hearing him laugh and get angry. She let him rant about his ugly divorce with his first wife and she helped him make sense of it.

"Thanks," he said gratefully. "I didn't mean to dump all that on you."

"Anytime," Sara said. "I can trust you, right?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Okay," Sara sighed.

Over the next thirty minutes, Sara would divulge everything about her relationship with Grissom and how it had affected her life thus far. He was patient and kind and he never interrupted her once.

"You're a good listener," she complimented.

"You too," he said back.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes before Sara began again.

"About that kiss last week," she started. "That was just…I don't know. Did you mind?"

"No," Alex said. "I think we both kind of played that card."

"Oh," Sara chuckled. "So, you don't think we're moving too fast?"

"Nope," he said. "So, where would you like to go for dinner?"

"There's this really nice restaurant called Dino's," Sara explained. "It has excellent Italian."

"Okay, Dino's it is," he said. "I've heard of that place before. Dress nice."

"I will," Sara said with a smile.

Sara felt uncomfortable in dresses, so she decided to find the sexiest pair of pants she owned and a sexy top to go with it. She didn't want to go out looking lackluster. She decided to wear the mango colored halter that Catherine had given her from her closet.

"Catherine, why are you giving me this?" Sara asked. "You know I don't like my bare back showing."

"Sara, just take it," Catherine insisted. "For when you have a hot date."

Now was as good a time as any to wear the halter with her tight fitting black slacks and black leather dress boots. She straightened her hair and let it fall around her face, and she used shinier and brighter lipstick and eye shadow for makeup. When she chanced a look at her appearance in the mirror, she smiled at herself. She actually liked the way she looked for once.

When she was a little girl, her parents always criticized her. No matter what she did or how hard she worked, she was never enough for them, and it hurt her deeply because she never had any confidence in her appearance. It was even worse when she was a teen. Her father was always telling her that her legs were too long for skirts, and that she acted more like a boy rather than a young lady because she ran track. He saw nothing good about her, just the bad, and she resented him for it.

She wished he could see her now. Sara had never felt so good about herself in a long time.

She inspected her body. The contrasting colors brought out her curvy figure that she never noticed before. Her shoulders were accented and creamy looking, and for a brief moment, she though about the time Grissom grazed his fingers along her shoulder down to her sides, figuring out a case. He looked ready to pounce her at any moment at that time, and she admitted that she would have let him. She broke the moment, however, but still, he had other opportunities to take a chance, but he never did.

But Grissom wasn't the core of her problems. In fact, he had nothing to do with them at all. Yes, he had weakened her threshold for emotional pain, but everything else crept from an untouched corner of her mind, brought about by her anger and rage at the world around her.

Before leaving, Sara noticed her breasts. The clingy material of the halter molded into her strapless bra, and her breasts looked more full.

"Thank you Catherine," she whispered.

She heard her doorbell ring and she gave herself one more look in the mirror before picking up her purse and heading to the door. She looked through the peephole and saw Alex standing out in the hallway, with his hands in his pockets.

She opened the door, and he stood at the doorway, speechless. His eyes traveled the length of her body.

"You look amazing," he said, giving her body another once over.

"Thanks," she said, taking in his appearance. "You too."

"Thanks," he said. "Ready?"

"Yes," Sara said, smiling as she hooked her arm in his.

They strolled out to his car, and she liked that very much. It gave them a chance to talk and to begin enjoying each other's company.

Once at the restaurant, Alex made sure that they got seats near the window on the second floor, so that they could overlook the city.

Once seated, they ordered their drinks and began to talk again.

"What made you decide to become a CSI?" Alex started.

Sara sipped at her iced tea before starting.

"Well, I was always interested in science and I was really good in it too," Sara began. "Once I got to my senior year of high school, I didn't know how to apply my knowledge, so one of my teachers suggested that I study forensics in college."

"Does it fascinate you like it used to?" He asked.

Sara contemplated that question for a moment. The past year had been rough for her, and she had not put her heart and soul into her job as much as she used to. Her past and her diminishing capacity for seeing people hurt or killed for no reason caught up with her, and sometimes, she considered finding another occupation. But could she really be that honest about that with Alex? She didn't want him to think that she was weak or anything. That was the last thing she wanted.

"Well," Sara began, deciding that she may as well be honest since he'd been so honest with her. "It still fascinates me, but a lot of things have come along that make me not enjoy my job that I'm still dealing with. I love what I do. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try, something about it always traps me and takes me to a place that I never intended to go."

"I know what you mean," Alex sympathized. "Some things are more easy to forget than others."

"How about you?" Sara asked. "What made you decide that you wanted to be a detective?"

"My grandfather was a detective in Mexico," Alex began. "He was one of the good cops. He had to move out here shortly after my father was born because the city was corrupt, and they threatened his life. Then, when my father grew up, he became a detective as well, and now, here I am."

"You weren't forced?" Sara asked.

"No," he said. "My father took pride in what he did, and I wanted to feel that same pride."

"Your father must have some pretty exciting stories to tell," she commented.

"He does," Alex said. "Both real and imagined," he chuckled. "What about your dad?"

Sara looked surprised at his question, and he immediately began to feel bad for asking.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Oh, no," Sara waved off. "You've been so honest with me, it's only fair."

"I know, but you don't like talking about your family much," he said. "You don't have to-"

"It's okay, really," Sara insisted. "My father was an immigrant from France. I was just barely a month old when my parents crossed over to the US. He saved up all of his money to buy this house that he decided to turn into a bed and breakfast. Well, he achieved his goals."

She stopped there, deciding not to go any further about her parents.

Alex nodded at her tidbit of information.

He sensed that deep down in the very core of her, she had dark secrets from her past that she guarded with her life. He sensed that she wanted to carry her past to the grave.

"Anyway," she began. "What do you do for fun?"

Alex shrugged.

"I spend time with my family, I visit my ex-wife's son," he paused, deciding to explain that. "When Xavier was born, I loved him like he was my own. That was one thing me and my ex-wife agreed on during the divorce. I could see Xavier whenever I wanted."

"That's really big of you," Sara said.

"Thanks," Alex said, continuing. "Sometimes I drive up north to visit my grandmother and cousins on her ranch, and I tend to read a crime novel or two in my free time."

"Don't feel bad, I read those too," Sara laughed. "I'm glad to know I'm not the only one."

They both chuckled a bit.

"How about you?" He asked.

Sara blushed.

"Well, other than seeing you, I don't get out much," she admitted.

"That just means you're dedicated," Alex said.

"Not to most people," Sara said, looking away shyly.

"To me," he said.

She smiled.

Their orders came some time later, and they ate and talked about anything and everything, and Sara was enjoying every minute of it.

O-O-O

Catherine woke up and stretched out the kinks in her shoulders and back. She fell asleep on the couch.

I'm getting old, she thought to herself.

She looked around her and Warrick was sitting next to her, still sleeping and his arm stretching the length of the sofa. Lindsay was lying in the love seat, curled up with a blanket.

There was a soft, watery glow coming from the television, and Catherine focused her vision on what the image was. _Finding Nemo_ was still in her DVD player, and the menu had appeared. She looked to see how late it was.

It was only eight o'clock, but they all must have been pretty sleepy. She lightly tapped Warrick's shoulder and he woke up with a start.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"Eight o'clock," Catherine whispered. "We were all knocked out for a while. _Finding Nemo_ watched us."

Warrick chuckled a bit as he sat up and rubbed his face with his hands.

"I'll be back," Catherine said. "I'm going to go put Lindsay to bed."

Warrick nodded as Catherine woke up Lindsay sweetly and took her to her bedroom.

Warrick had not intended to go to sleep. Catherine invited him over after shift for dinner and a movie. Never willing to pass up a chance to spend time with Catherine and Lindsay, he accepted, but neither of them realized how tired they were until the movie started.

Catherine came back into the living room and sat next to him.

"Thanks for coming over," she said with a smile as she relaxed back into his arms.

"No problem," he said.

They stayed curled up on the couch and watched television until they both dozed off again.

O-O-O

When Sara and Alex were through with dinner, they walked slowly to his car, snuggling to each other every once in a while and smiling. Sara found that she was comfortable with being as close to him as she was.

She had never felt more beautiful and admired in a long time. She had finally found someone that appreciated her intelligence and her as a person, no matter what her past. Alex's personality balanced out her own, and she liked their compatibility. She was finding out more and more about him, causing her to open up about herself and face things she hadn't faced in a long time, things that she was often ashamed of.

The ride back to her apartment was silent, but they stole glances at each other often. Alex couldn't help but look at Sara Sidle every few minutes. She was beautiful, sexy, intelligent, funny, and mysterious. Not to mention sexy. Her smile took his breath away. For one fleeting moment, he decided that if given the chance, he could spend the rest of his life with this woman. It was too soon to be thinking of that, he knew, but what they had was a start.

Sara was thinking similar thoughts.

Here was a man beside her that actually appreciated her for who she was. He was patient with her, caring, and devoted to taking things slowly with her so that they could find out more about each other. Sara didn't feel afraid or reserved around Alex. She felt more alive than she had in years with a man, and she welcomed that. She wanted that feeling of closeness and admiration. Alex was the kind of man that she could possibly fall in love with.

She felt her heart rate speed up at the very word, and she wanted to forget that possibility, thinking that it was too soon to feel anything even remotely similar to that, but she couldn't.

When he pulled into her complex, she smiled.

"Thanks," she said gratefully. "I had a wonderful time tonight."

"Good," he said. "Me too."

"I would like to go out again some time," she said.

"How about dinner with my family next Sunday night?" Alex asked.

"Sure," Sara said. "I'd love to meet your family."

"Then it's a date," he said with a grin.

Sara looked into his eyes, sensing something different in them than from the last time.

He reached over and cupped her cheek with his hand. She leaned into his touch and sighed, feeling the desire that lay dormant within her fire up and flow all throughout her body, flooding her senses and making her breathe deeper with anticipation as they drew ever closer.

Finally, their lips met in a gentle kiss that grew more passionate and deep. Sara pulled away a bit and smiled. Alex smiled back before seizing her lips again. Sara strained against her seatbelt to get closer to him, and finally, she unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned into his kisses even more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hot, openmouthed kiss. She pulled away and let Alex get his seatbelt off before she climbed over onto his lap and kissed him passionately.

Sara felt like she was seventeen all over again, making out in a car. When their tongues met and crushed against each other within their mouths, she went crazy with sudden arousal and lust. She moaned into the kisses and Alex tangled his fingers into her hair and kissed her yet deeper.

His body was responding in ways that he had to get control of. His mind was clouded with lust and wantonness, thinking impure thoughts about what he could do to this woman in bed if given the chance as their relationship progressed. This was nothing but a mere preview of what was to come.

Sara began to pull away from their last long kiss, before resting her forehead against his.

"You're an excellent kisser," she commented, still trying to catch her breath.

"Likewise," Alex whispered.

"I know we said we wanted to go slowly with this," Sara whispered. "But, there's just something about you, about us talking and revealing the deepest parts of ourselves that no one else has ever known or appreciated that I've never known before."

"I can't tell you how badly I want this, how badly I want you," he said, running his hands over her hair. "You're so beautiful and special. I mean, whenever you're ready, I'll be ready, but I don't want to force anything on you."

"You're not," she assured him.

They kissed gently one more time.

Alex walked Sara up to her apartment and she pulled him into another deep kiss before saying goodnight and going inside.

He ran his hand over his face and sighed as he walked down the hallway.


	4. Chapter Four

Winter's Rime

Chapter Four

Sara discovered that even after apologizing to Grissom about her outburst two weeks before, it was still awkward working with him. Especially with Sophia around. The sexual tension between the two of them was not only obvious, it was mounting. Sara had narrowed her eyes at their interaction several times throughout shift, and then she realized, Grissom must have reacted the same way when she found out about Hank and now, about her and Alex. The games they played with each other were getting more twisted and more hurtful.

Sophia seemed truly interested in Grissom. Just as Sara had been years before the shake up Ecklie caused. Not working with Nick, Warrick, and even Catherine, considering that she wasn't the best of friends with the older woman, threw her off immensely. She had no one else to rebound with when things weren't going her way with Grissom anymore.

Sara had learned how to repress her emotions over the past year because she knew that people would start feeling sorry for her and she didn't want that. She preferred to just keep it all inside until she got home and then let it out for hours with crying and a beer. Of course, she over did it a few times, and Brass happened to pick up on it but only because he'd been in her place more than a few times in his life, and he wanted to help her in earnest and he didn't judge her either. She was thankful for that. It was then that she realized that she did have a problem, but she didn't know who to turn to.

Her father had always told her that she had an odd habit of waiting until the bottom dropped out to finally face what she was running away from.

Memories of the night she almost got arrested flooded her, and the memory of Grissom's hand in hers, wanting to take her home made her feel more emotion than she wanted at work. All of it hurt so bad. She remembered how she cried in his arms at her doorstep as he tried to tell her that everything would be okay. She was embarrassed beyond anything, and she sobbed as she told him how sorry she was and how stupid she had been.

Grissom was benevolent to her. He advised her to go to some counseling, sensing that she needed to unload more than just her emotions from the Parker case. He also told her to take some time off to get out of the city.

Facing herself and her past was the hardest thing she ever had to do. Her problem was not Grissom and that was something else she had to admit.

She went to Boston and stayed with her parents, who welcomed her with open arms when she stood on their doorstep sobbing. Her mother hugged her tightly, and Sara hugged tighter.

Sara stayed in bed for three days, crying off and on, barely eating anything. When she finally emerged, Sara divulged everything that had happened since she left Boston, all the way up to her DUI. Her mother and father talked to her lovingly about what she could do and about trying to make some changes. They offered her a chance to move back to Boston, but Sara would hear none of it. She wanted to face her emotions and her fears, no matter how painful they were.

"Sara?"

She jumped a bit in her chair and she looked around and found Sophia by the counter in the break room.

"Are you okay?" Sophia asked.

"Uh, yeah," Sara said. "I was just finishing up some paperwork."

"Sara, you might want to start over," Sophia said with a small smirk of earnest.

Sara raised an eyebrow.

"Why is that?" Sara asked.

"Look for yourself," she said, chancing sitting next to the woman.

Sara looked down at the paper she was working on and she sighed a curse under her breath. There was a big spiral where she thought she was writing during her moment of introspection.

"Oh God," Sara sighed.

"Let's go get some lunch, shall we?" Sophia offered. "To break the ice a little."

They went to a nice buffet that had a salad bar. Sara admitted that she was a bit hungry.

"You're eating just a salad?" Sophia asked.

"Yeah," Sara said. "As a start."

Sophia nodded as she sat down with a plate of food. She had a steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and a roll. She smiled before she dug into her lunch.

Sara picked at her salad for a bit, deciding that she wasn't as hungry as she thought she was. She had to stop this. She never really ate anymore. It took up too much of her time. She snacked. She felt the same kind of loss of appetite when she had breakfast with Alex. She ate half of her plate when she went to dinner with him. She noticed how pale and thin she was getting again. She felt better for a while, being around people she loved, mentoring Greg out in the field. But lately, she had gone back to what she normally did and she realized that it probably wasn't the most healthy thing to do.

Just as she realized how uncomfortable she was around Sophia, she stabbed her salad and stuffed it into her mouth with a sudden bout of both hunger and rage that she couldn't explain. Taking her frustrations out on the salad was not the answer.

"So, I heard about you and Detective Vartan," Sophia began.

Sara picked up her tea and sipped at it nervously. Catherine probably told the entire state of Nevada the way she gossiped.

Sara said nothing as she focused on the Christmas music being played over the intercom.

"Look, we're going to have to work together for a long time coming whether you like it or not," Sophia began. "I just want to get to know you, that's all."

Sara sighed and looked down at her hands.

"I just don't want people mumbling about Alex and I every time I come to work," Sara said. "I mean, we kind of have a good thing going and I don't want a thousand people knowing about us. It's so personal right now…"

"I understand," Sophia said with a smile.

Sara nodded in appreciation.

"Thanks for lunch," she said before leaving.

O-O-O

Sara relished being in Alex's arms as she sipped at a cup of coffee. She felt all of the day's trifles melt away as she snuggled closer to him on the couch in the lounge at the station. Alex's friends were teasing the both of them as they sat.

"How much flack have they been giving you?" She asked.

"A lot," he chuckled. "Pretty much everyone in the station knows about us now."

"Yeah, same at the lab," she agreed. "So much for keeping a clandestine relationship."

Alex nodded.

"You going house hunting after work?" He asked.

"Yeah," Sara said. "I think I may find the house I want today"

"I thought you said you liked the one on Thornberg?" He asked.

"I changed my mind when I saw how small the bedrooms were," she said. "I'd never get my furniture in those rooms."

Alex took her cup when she finished with her coffee and put it in the sink. Sara sank further into the plush couch. The couch was bigger than she was, and her small frame seemed engulfed by it. Her hair was a little mussed from resting her head on the back of the couch. Alex stared at her with a bit of a smirk.

"What?" She asked.

"You know, I never really realized how little you actually are until I saw you sitting on the couch," he said. "You're going to sink in if you're not careful."

Sara stuck her tongue out at him and pouted.

Alex came over and sat back down next to her. He kissed her cheek and put his arm around her shoulders again. Sara's break would be over in a few more minutes, and she wanted to spend those minutes in his arms. She had never felt so much emotion before. Her relationship with Alex was still very new, but she felt that he might be the one.

When her break was up, she was forced to put those thoughts to the back of her mind until later.

He stood up first then helped her out of the plush couch that had nearly swallowed her frame. They both chuckled at the couch before heading out together, him walking her back to the lab.

"Thanks for the coffee," Sara said with a smile. "So I'll see you after shift?"

"Yeah," he said. "After, do you want to grab some lunch or something? I know this great place that serves the best pizza."

"Sure," Sara said, inching closer to him. "Then, maybe after, I thought we could…"

Several different thoughts ran through Alex's head.

"What?" He asked, almost faint from her proximity.

"Cuddle," she said with a smile. "I like you holding me."

Alex sighed and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"That would be nice," he whispered before pulling her gently closer for a small, light kiss. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Sara said with a smile as he left.

Sara looked forward into the labs and sighed with a slight grin as she began to head toward one of the layout rooms.

She was reeling.

Is this for real? She asked herself. _Am I really feeling this way after only two dates? I just kissed Alex in front of the LAB. I sat with him unashamedly at PD. I let him hold me without hesitation, and he let me get closer to him without tensing up. I don't feel afraid anymore. He makes me feel beautiful and special. I haven't felt that in a long time._

She asked herself. 

Sara saw Grissom working on their case.

"Hey Grissom," Sara said cordially as she took a seat next to him.

"Hey, where have you been?" He asked. "I didn't see you in the break room."

"I was just out for a bit," Sara explained away, not wanting to divulge everything.

Grissom nodded, thinking nothing more of it. As long as Sara was actually taking a break, he didn't much care where she went as long as she was back on time. She seemed more relaxed than she was earlier in the shift.

"So, I heard that you and Sophia went to lunch," Grissom began.

"And who'd you hear it from?" Sara quipped. "Sophia?"

Grissom furrowed his eyebrows at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked defensively.

Sara smirked and rested her head on her fist.

"It's just a question," she said nonchalantly.

"Sara," Grissom began, looking at her. "Sophia and I are not a couple, if that's what you think."

"I don't think anything," Sara said as she slid one of the crime scene photos into her view.

Not pleased with her reply to all of his questions, he turned to her completely.

"Sara," he sighed. "Look. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that you're not dating Detective Vartan just to make me jealous."

Sara swiveled in her chair to face him with benevolent and soft eyes that Grissom remembered that he instantly fell in love with from the moment he saw Sara.

"I'm not dating Detective Vartan to make you jealous," Sara promised. "I'm not even doing it to hurt you. Look, I need a friend, and Alex gave me that. He's caring, and he listens to what I have to say, even if it's about dead bodies. He cares about my thoughts and feelings. I have shared things with him about myself that I haven't even told you and I don't normally do that," she paused and sighed. "It's all so new to me and I like it and I want it. I want to be able to talk without worrying about being judged or feeling guilty."

"Sara I thought we had that," Grissom began. "But there's just so many things I-"

"I know," Sara said. "I realize that. But I've got to take a chance this time Gris."

"But Sara-"

"Please don't," she interrupted. "Just, give me my space for a while okay?"

Grissom nodded in surrender to her wishes and said nothing more of the matter of Sara and Alex Vartan.

O-O-O

After shift, Sara and Alex passed a little of their time kissing passionately and letting their hands caress places that hadn't been caressed before in his car when they stopped at his house so that they could both freshen up a bit.

Alex loved the way she smelled, even after twelve hours. She smelled of vanilla still. The smell had seeped into her skin and made her smell more sensual and taste more delicious to him. His hands rubbed the small of her back as Sara cupped both of his cheeks in her hands, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. When her hands reached a place that was still forbidden, he squirmed and pulled away.

"Whoa, not so fast," he chuckled. She smirked challengingly.

"Am I too much for you?" She asked in a husky tone.

"God no," Alex breathed as he leaned in to capture her lips again. "You are so sexy. You don't know how much I want you, but let's just wait a little longer, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered. "Thank you, for taking this slowly. You've been so good to me over these last two weeks."

"As you have to me," he said. "I cherish you, and I respect you. I would never do anything to hurt you Sara. You have my word on that."

Sara smiled and kissed him one last time before getting off of his lap.

When they entered his house, Sara looked around. It was clean and quaint. Perfect for one person. Or two. The color scheme seemed strangely out of character and balance for Alex though, and Sara furrowed her eyebrows at the décor in the house.

"My mother fixed this house up for me," he explained right away. "I know that's what you were thinking about."

Sara smiled.

"It's nice, but it's not your style is it?" Sara asked.

"Nope," he said. "I'm a white wall man."

"Well, I like a little color," she said. "But not bright colors."

He smiled.

Sara loved it when he smiled. He had beautiful teeth and the perfect expression of true humor and delight. There was nothing fake about Alex Vartan, and she liked that very much.

"The bathroom's this way," he said, taking her hand.

There were two sinks and they made use of them to brush their teeth. They glanced at each other every once in a while as they brushed. Sara was blushing madly at his scrutiny. When he was finished, he placed his toothbrush on the counter instead of back in the holder, and she felt herself cringing. He kissed her on the cheek on his way out and grabbed an extra shirt to put on.

Sara finished brushing her teeth and ran her toothbrush under some scorching hot water before she placed it back in a plastic bag. Sara looked at herself in the mirror. He thought she was _sexy_. Not just beautiful. Not just hot. But sexy. That was a whole other degree of beauty that she never knew she could reach.

She reapplied some lip gloss and lipstick before heading out since Alex had sucked away her lipstick when they were kissing madly.

When she met up with him in the living room, they linked hands and walked to his car together.

O-O-O

Catherine placed the bowl of popcorn on her kitchen island as Warrick brought the glasses for the spiked apple cider. Grissom was sitting, looking thoughtful as ever, and Catherine and Warrick glanced at each other as they sat down.

"What's troubling you Gil?" Catherine asked as she took some popcorn.

"Nothing," he lied.

"See Gil, you're doing it again," Catherine said. "You're running away from your problems and waiting for the bottom to drop out."

"The bottom has dropped out," he said dejectedly. "Sara's dating Detective Vartan now. He's younger, better looking, and obviously more interesting than I am to her. She seems…strangely comfortable."

"Is she happy?" Warrick asked, pouring some cider into a glass and handing it to Catherine first.

Catherine thanked him with a kiss to his cheek before staring at Grissom, waiting for his answer.

"I think she is," he stammered. "But I don't know what happy looks like on her anymore because, she's been in this dark place for so long. It's because of me."

"It's not just you Gris," Warrick said. "I'm sure there are other things bothering her too. She could have pursued you too. It's not like you haven't opened the door for her a few times."

The three CSIs sat around the island sipping at their cider for a few moments, Warrick rubbing the small of Catherine's back every once in a while when she winced in pain.

"So," Catherine began as she straightened her back a little to relieve some stress. "Sara and Vartan? Match made in heaven?"

"I don't know, they seem pretty heavy to me," Warrick said as he ate more popcorn. "I heard one of the officers going on about them at a scene. Apparently all the guys down at PD have a crush on Sara."

Grissom smirked.

"She does have a way of intimidating people that's actually kind of appealing," he commented.

"In lament terms that means he thinks she's sexy," Catherine chuckled.

Catherine winced in pain again and she rubbed her lower back.

"What's the matter Catherine?" Grissom asked.

"Oh, nothing," she said. "I've just been having these back pains for a few weeks now. This one really hurts."

Tears began to well up in her eyes a bit as she tried to relieve the tense pain in her back. Her muscle aches were getting bad and she'd been feeling gross and uncomfortable in her own house.

"I think you have the flu babe," Warrick said.

"No, it's not the flu," she said. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Would you stop thinking worst case scenario Rick? You're not helping."

O-O-O

Sara bit into her large slice of vegetarian pizza. She nodded in approval of taste and Alex grinned.

"Told you that Hot Iron Pizza was the best in this city," he said. "But for real pizza, and real hotdogs, nothing compares to New York."

"Hmm," Sara mumbled skeptically. "I believe that's an urban myth. Pizza is pizza and a hotdog is a hotdog everywhere you go."

"You're a killjoy, you know that?" He chuckled.

"No," she objected. "I'm a realist."

"Killjoy," he insisted good naturedly.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek again as she smiled in jest.

"So, what are you going to do now?" He asked.

Sara shrugged.

"I'll get the guys to help me out and I'm going to put some things into storage and take some out," Sara explained.

Alex nodded.

"How does it feel being a home owner?" He asked.

"It feels pretty good," Sara giggled. "Wow, I can't believe I bought a house. I never thought I'd get out of that stupid little apartment."

"I'm happy for you Sara," Alex said.

They kissed sweetly.

"Mm," Sara hummed. "Let's hurry up and finish so we can do some cuddling. I miss you holding me already."

They finished up their pizzas then they headed over to his house.

They got settled on the couch with a blanket before Alex turned on the television. Before the end of the news, Sara was fast asleep in his arms and he smiled.

Sara's the one, he thought to himself. _She's the one, I know it. I feel it deep in my soul. She's beautiful, and intelligent. I know more about dead bodies now because of her knowledge. I know her fears, what makes her laugh…all of it. Thank you God._

he thought to himself. 


	5. Chapter Five

Winter's Rime

Chapter Five

Sara began packing a week after she bought the house. She started taking down valuables first so that she could package them correctly.

She walked down her hallway toward her bedroom, taking pictures off of her wall. Once she had all of them down, she sat in the middle of her living room and went through all of the pictures.

There were some of when she was just a baby, and the others were of her at about nine or ten years old. She had pictures of her parents, her older brother, her younger sister, and the three of them together. She still had albums as well, but she framed the most beautiful pictures of her family. When she saw a picture of her younger self, she felt tears falling down her cheeks. Her memories were fragmented and shadowy. They were like gaps in her life that she had to get through in order to completely pull herself together mentally and emotionally.

She hugged the picture of her parents tight against her chest and she let her tears fall on the corners of the cast iron frame.

Through the blurriness that her tears caused, memories came back to her.

Sara wiped her tears and placed the picture on the bubble paper. Sara covered up her feet with the blanket next to her.

It was all so painful and mysterious, her past. There were things that she wanted to remember but couldn't, but she always remembered things that she tried to forget. Something over the last five years had brought back latent memories of her childhood that she tried so hard to forget.

She sighed and began packing away the pictures, either laughing, scowling, or crying at certain ones when she remembered little instances.

But looking at the picture of her parents made her feel like a piece of her was stolen.

Sara was terrible with languages, and she could not utter a word of French. Sara shook her head at the memories, thinking that there had to be some sort of explanation of what happened that night when she was four years old.

Once she had all of her pictures packed away, she moved on to getting her clothes packed so that she could clean out her closet and get rid of things she didn't need.

Getting over her episode, she was decidedly happy about moving in to her new house. Alex was happy for her as well, and he told her that he was getting her a housewarming gift.

She told him not to, but he insisted, and he told her that she would like it very much.

Her other coworkers heard the news and they were happy for her as well. The guys offered to help her move in and get her other things out of storage for her. She told Grissom that she would need about three weeks off to get settled in to her new house, and he readily gave it to her, proud of the changes she was making.

Catherine was due to come over in a bit to help her pack and get organized then they would go out to lunch. Sara told Catherine that Warrick could come along if he liked, but Catherine said that he was driving her crazy and that it was time to have some girl talk anyway. She also said that Warrick was trying to spend some time with Lindsay as well to help her get used to the idea of him being around more often.

Sara was going through her closet when her phone rang.

She picked it up, thinking that it might be Catherine calling.

"Hello?" Sara answered.

"Hey Sara, it's mom."

"Oh, hi mom," Sara said casually before realizing it was her mother. "Mom!"

"You sound so surprised," her mother's stoic voice quipped on the other end.

"Uh, no," Sara said. "It's just that you haven't called in a long time."

"Well, you haven't either so," her mother began.

"Don't go there mom," Sara warned.

"Anyway, I was just calling to tell you that your father and I will be coming to Las Vegas for Christmas," she paused to sigh. "That is, if people in that city actually celebrate Christmas."

"Mom, don't be a snob," Sara commanded. "Look, you can come to Vegas, but you can't stay with me."

"I know its kind of short notice, but we haven't seen you in ages," her mother's voice said. "Besides, your place can't be that little can it?"

Sara did not answer.

"By you stunned silence, obviously it can," her mother quipped.

"Believe me Mom, there's a bunch of hotels here that you can stay in," Sara said, knowing that she would never be ready for Christmas in time for her parents.

"I can't believe you're throwing your father and I out on our rears," her mother said a bit angrily. "We don't have any reservations."

"With the kind of cash dad is pulling in, I don't think you'll have any problems getting into a nice hotel here," Sara bit back.

"Why are you so crabby?" Her mother asked.

"I'm not crabby mother," Sara growled. "I'm just in the middle of something right now, and Christmas is on my to-do list Mom."

"Your sister is coming too," her mother said as an afterthought. "She's bringing Tyler with her."

"SHE can DEFINITELY stay in a hotel," Sara emphasized. "You know Tyler and I don't get along."

"You are crabby," her mother continued with the previous conversation about Sara's mood. "Is it work?"

"No," Sara sighed.

"That time of the month?"

Sara frowned.

"Goodbye Mom," she said before hanging up.

Sara sighed and continued to go through her closet. Her mother infuriated her sometimes. Patricia Wellby-DuPont was not only the queen bee of Boston, but she was the queen bee of Sara's life as well, her hold on her still having an effect on Sara to the very day. Patricia was one of those over bearing, over scheduling mothers that had Sara in every possible academic club there was. She even made Sara try out for the Boston Metropolitan Ballet.

Sara cringed at the thought of how controlling her mother still was during her tumultuous childhood. Now, her mother would be here for two solid weeks. What was Sara to do? She had to work fast on settling into her house and getting it the way she wanted it before her mother came. Two weeks of pure hell to endure. Sara was hoping that she and Alex could spend a nice Christmas together but she shot those plans to Hades. On top of everything else, her little sister was also coming with her boyfriend.

How much more stress could possibly be bestowed upon her?

Sara sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

The doorbell rang and Sara growled in frustration. She couldn't get a moment's rest.

She opened the door to Catherine.

"Hey Catherine," Sara said cordially. "Come on in."

"Hey Sara," Catherine said as she took her coat off.

"Hmm, you've gotten a lot accomplished," Catherine said, looking around Sara's small apartment.

Sara glared at her.

"I've just been thinking about a lot of things today," Sara said as she went to her bedroom.

Catherine nodded in understanding and she looked around the kitchen.

"Do you want me to start taking out your dinner ware?" Catherine asked.

"Um, yeah," Sara said as she pulled clothes from her closet.

She came back into the living room and put her clothes in boxes with hanger rails and packed those up quickly. Then she assisted Catherine in the kitchen.

"So, how are things going with you and Vartan?" Catherine asked casually while inspecting Sara's glasses. She grimaced at some of them.

"Oh, fine," Sara said vaguely. "He really makes me happy."

Catherine nodded. She wrapped the glasses neatly in bubble paper before putting them in the large box. Catherine was glad that Sara was finally moving on with her life. It was no secret that she had feelings for Grissom in the past, but, (she had to think it, even though Gil was her best friend) he treated her badly. Sara had been through more than anyone could ever imagine over the last five years of her life. It was definitely time for some change.

"Catherine, the Tupperware is supposed to lay this way," Sara instructed.

Catherine regarded her strangely before fixing all the glasses and the Tupperware.

"How are things with you and Warrick?" Sara ventured to ask, knowing that the older woman was territorial when it came to her love life.

"They're good I guess," Catherine shrugged. "He's trying to mellow me out. Warrick is always trying to find things for us to do at home instead of going out. Lindsay loves it. I didn't know that he was so…family oriented."

"Really?" Sara asked incredulously. "Warrick Brown?"

"Yeah," Catherine said in an air of surprise. "Oh God, I hope he doesn't start talking about marriage or kids."

Sara shook her head. "Nah, I think it'll be a while."

Catherine nodded as she took down some plates. She grimaced.

"Jesus Sara," Catherine said. "These are the ugliest plates I've ever seen in my life."

O-O-O

For lunch, the two women went to Bravado's.

Catherine ordered chicken mozzarella and Sara ordered the house Caesar salad.

"Sara, do you want a Bloody Mary?" Catherine asked.

Sara shook her head and ordered some water instead.

When their drinks arrived, they lapsed into silence for a few moments. Sara took the time to think about seeing Alex and kissing him.

Catherine noticed Sara's dreamy look as she bit into her celery from her drink.

She smiled. Sara had a certain glow in her eye that she caught and she knew exactly what it was.

"Sara, are you in love?" Catherine dared to ask.

"Love?" Sara chuckled. "Oh come on Catherine, I've only been dating Alex for three weeks. I don't know if I love him yet, but I know that he makes me happy."

Catherine just smiled mischievously and sipped at her strong Bloody Mary.

"Do you love Warrick?" Sara asked teasingly, already knowing the answer to that question.

"Mmhm," Catherine answered sultrily. "You know I do."

"How did you know that you loved him?" Sara asked.

Catherine licked her fingers as she played around with the lemon in her drink.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "It just kind of snuck up on me one day. Warrick has always been my best friend and he cares about me. I suppose the time I knew for sure that I loved him was when he took care of Lindsay for me when I was kidnapped by that psycho a few years back. I know that's a long time to go without telling someone that you love them, but that was when I knew."

Sara nodded.

"I don't know what I'm feeling right now," Sara said. "It's all so new."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Catherine said with a smile. "One day it'll just bite you in the ass and you'll know. It's the little stuff that he does that counts."

Their plates came and Catherine finished off her drink before ordering some sweet red wine. She pushed her hair out of her face before she began to daintily eat her lunch. Catherine had always had an air of beauty and confidence that Sara envied. She was surprised that she was getting along with Catherine so well after all the years of bitterness between them.

Sara wanted confidence in herself. That's what she missed the most.

Catherine stopped eating and looked at Sara.

"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked.

"Yeah," Sara said.

Catherine's phone vibrated on her hip and she looked at the window. She rolled her eyes in agitation.

"I can't have a moment of peace," she grumbled as she answered the phone. "Hey babe, what is it? Nothing, I'm at lunch with Sara…she was doing what? Warrick, just use some ammonia and hot water then use the stain remover in the pantry. Okay…I love you too…yeah, bye."

Catherine shook her head with a slight chuckled.

"Warrick and Lindsay made a mess," she explained. "You'd think that a forensic scientist with a master's could make some chocolate pudding."

Sara laughed.

O-O-O

By the weekend, Sara had everything packed and ready to go. She rented a U-Haul truck and Warrick, Nick, Greg, and Alex were there to help transport Sara's belongings to the truck. Catherine and Sara were gathering up valuables to save for last to put in Sara's car.

"I can't believe this is happening," Sara said to Catherine as they dictated which boxes go when. "I'm so happy to get out of this apartment."

"I'm glad too," Nick called, picking up another box. "I don't see how you fit all this stuff in here in the first place Sara."

"Shut up Nick," Sara chuckled.

Warrick stopped for a second and leaned in to try and kiss Catherine but she playfully pulled away and told him to help Nick out with a box.

Alex however had more luck with Sara and he held out a piece of chocolate to her lips and she took a bite before he leaned in to kiss her sweetly.

"Mm," she mumbled. "Thank you."

Nick made a gagging gesture with his hands to Warrick as the picked up some more boxes.

"We're almost through," Alex said, putting his hands on her hips.

Sara nodded, giving him a once over. He didn't realize just how sexy he looked in a tank top shirt. She could see his muscles and his moderately muscled chest and abdomen. She felt desire course through her body and she kissed him again before he left to go assist Warrick and Nick.

Catherine had a naughty raised eyebrow.

"Wow," she said.

Sara blushed like a fool.

O-O-O

Catherine was rubbing the small of her back when it started to ache as she was doing dishes.

She had remembered what caused her back pain. She used bad body mechanics while lifting a heavy box of evidence and pulled a muscle in her lower back. She didn't feel it at the time, but sure enough, a couple of days after that, and over the following weeks, she had a sore back.

She heard Warrick come in to the kitchen and she smiled when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. His hands traveled from her hips to her butt and she giggled.

"Warrick," she giggled.

"What?" He asked huskily.

"Not tonight," she whispered playfully as she turned in his arms to face him. "Remember we have a suite at the Bellagio, fifth floor, poolside, all to ourselves next weekend," she said with a smile. "No work, Lindsay will be at Nana's, and the best part is that you have me all to yourself. Does that sound good?"

Warrick smiled.

"That sounds real good," he said.

They kissed sweetly, but their romantic mood was broken by the doorbell ringing.

Catherine opened the door.

"Grissom?"

O-O-O

Sara woke up to the bright sun coming through her window. She smiled.

She was finally in her new house.

It was a one story with three bedrooms, two and a half baths, a large kitchen, a formal and family living room, and a den.

She was afraid to stay by herself in the empty house overnight, so Alex stayed with her, but he slept on the oddly placed couch and she slept on the mattress on the floor.

Alex was already up making breakfast for them.

"Good morning," he called from the kitchen. "After we eat, I'll show you my housewarming gift."

Sara smiled and rested back on the mattress for a bit. She still had her clothes on from the day before.

"I need to start getting this place organized," Sara said. "I need to buy some more furniture. My parents, my sister and her boyfriend have decided to come and visit me for Christmas."

"Wow, that only leaves you about, two and a half weeks," Alex said.

"I know," Sara said. "I want my parents to be comfortable and proud of me. They think I live in a tiny one room apartment at the moment."

"So, instead of telling them you got a house, you're just going to give 'em a heart attack instead?" Alex asked with a chuckle.

"Well, they haven't seen me in years," Sara rationalized. "I think they'll be pleasantly surprised."

Alex cast her a doubtful look before bringing her plate over to her.

They ate on the floor.

"So, what's my gift?" Sara asked, growing impatient with his teasing.

"You have to wait and see," he said. "Just be patient and eat your breakfast."

"God, you sound like my mother," Sara groaned.

Once they finished breakfast, Alex took Sara's hand and asked her to cover her eyes.

"Alex, where are we going?" She asked. "What kind of gift did you get me?"

He led her out to the backyard and he stopped her in the middle of it.

"You know how you said you didn't know what to do about the big tree?"

"Yeah," Sara said suspiciously.

"Well, open your eyes," he said.

Sara opened her eyes, and she gasped.

She saw a swing hanging off the sturdiest branch of the large tree and then she looked up and saw a little tree house.

"Oh my God, Alex," she gasped. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

She pounced him and kissed him passionately.

After rolling around in the grass, caught up in kisses, Sara got up and headed over to the swing.

Alex joined her and they swung pleasantly.


	6. Chapter Six

Winter's Rime

Chapter Six

Sara grew more nervous as the time approached to meet Alex's family.

"Okay, my mother has three sisters," Alex explained. "Two older, one younger."

Sara nodded as he wrapped his arms around her waist to help her finish making the tortillas. He kissed her neck before continuing.

"The eldest sister is my Tia Beatrice," he explained, slowing her hands as she mixed the ingredients for homemade tortillas that he was teaching her. "Tia means aunt in Spanish. Anyway, she has the darkest and longest hair out of all the sisters, so you can tell who she is right off. My Tia Georgina is short, and my Tia Erica, the youngest, wears all black all the time."

"Why is that?" Sara asked.

"Because she's still mourning her husband," Alex explained. "After nearly ten years."

Sara furrowed her eyebrows.

"How sad," she said. "Okay, Tia Beatrice has the darkest hair, Tia Georgina is short, and Tia Erica wears all black. Got it."

"Good," Alex said as he kissed her neck again.

"Are you sure I'm doing this right?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, just keep kneading for about five more minutes then you can start to flatten out some tortillas," Alex instructed.

He pulled away from Sara and began to chop some tomatoes. Sara turned to look at him for a second and she smiled. Alex knew his way around any kitchen and he was an excellent cook. He'd been spoiling her for the last week because she'd been trying to get everything settled and fixed the way she wanted. She had gotten quick furniture deliveries, and everything was pretty much where she wanted.

Now, she was preparing tortillas in her kitchen for the dinner with Alex's family. She had been wary of her spacious kitchen, for her culinary skills were very limited. He helped her through the entire process though because she wanted what she was preparing to be perfect so that she would make a good impression on his parents.

Alex still had plenty of time to be nervous over meeting her parents.

"Your mom sounds wonderful," Sara said as she flattened out pieces of the dough.

"She is," he said. "I think she'll love you. But you have to make sure to call her Dona Yvonne."

"Why?" Sara asked.

"Respect," he said with a shrug. "Honor, respect, religion, and pride are big things in our family."

Sara raised her eyebrows.

"No pressure here," she said sarcastically.

He kissed her cheek.

"Try not to be nervous," Alex said. "My family is fun."

"From the way you talk about them, they sound like fun," Sara commented.

She leaned over and kissed him again before turning her attention back to the tortillas.

"Well, I wish my family was more like yours," Sara sighed. "I was hoping that we could spend Christmas together, but my mother wants to stay with me, so…"

"I'd like to meet your parents," Alex said.

"You wouldn't like them," Sara said, turning to him. "They're upper crust types…they're not used to culture."

Alex furrowed his eyebrows for a moment in thought then nodded.

"Oh, I see," he said.

"But I'm not going to hide anything from them," Sara said, coming over to him. "I'm not ashamed of you or your background at all. You're so wonderful and a damn fine detective. I don't care what my parents think or say."

She leaned in and kissed him softly before hugging him.

O-O-O

Catherine and Warrick watched as Lindsay had a small party with her friends in the backyard. It was late in the evening, and they were sitting on the porch swing sipping at some red wine.

Warrick saw that she was deep in thought about something.

"Hey," he said, taking her hand in his. "What's on your mind?"

Catherine shook her head.

"I'm just thinking about how big Lindsay has gotten," she said, grimacing. "And how old I am."

Warrick grinned. "Babe, you're not old. You know, people are saying that forty is the new twenty."

She glared at him.

"I'm forty three," she drawled.

"You don't look like it," Warrick complimented. "Cat, you're beautiful."

"You don't mind the fact that I'm older than you?" She asked.

"Nope," he said, pulling her closer.

"It doesn't bother you at all?" She asked incredulously.

"Not in the least," he said. "I love you for who you are."

Catherine smiled and continued to watch Lindsay host her party. She didn't know how to broach the subject of marriage or children with Warrick if he ever brought it up. She knew that their relationship, even though they hadn't been together long, was heading in that direction. What if he did ask her to marry him? What if he planned to propose next weekend at the hotel?

She sighed and smiled.

She would say yes. She would only be hurting herself and wasting time by waiting until the right time. Catherine discovered how much Warrick made her happy. He loved her, he loved Lindsay, and he was a good man. She wanted to take a chance with him. She already was dating him.

"I love you," she said, snuggling in to Warrick.

"I love you too," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders.

O-O-O

At the dinner with Alex's family, her homemade tortillas were a hit and Sara was proud of herself, although she admitted that Alex had to help her out quite a bit.

His mother, Yvonne Vartan was a sweet woman of fifty three who fell completely in love with Sara from the moment she saw her. She took her on a tour of her house which included a peek into Alex's childhood bedroom, still furnished and with the toys he used to play with until he moved out. Alex turned red with embarrassment and led his mother to a different part of the house as fast as he could. He wasn't able to escape Sara's teasing though.

She only felt slight bashfulness when Alex kissed her in front of most of his family members, but otherwise, she felt no anxiety whatsoever. She had fun and enjoyed herself truly.

She had a brief talk with Mr. Vartan who looked stern from a distance, but once Sara got to know him, she realized just how much Alex was like his father in many ways.

They both had kind of the same look of placidity and contentment, like they knew they would be right where they are at the moment. Nothing shook him or made him waver from what he believed or thought. The realizations made her fall harder for Alex.

His other family members were warm and welcoming toward Sara, and they wished her happiness with Alex because he was a good man.

The only thing that appalled them about her was the fact that she was vegetarian. There was a long, awkward pause as Alex announced that aspect to his mother after she placed a fajita platter in front of a paling Sara. She had not come into close contact with meat in a long time, and she thought about the dead pig that Grissom used to measure linear regression. She cringed inwardly, not wanting to offend his mother or his family.

She was angry at him only for a second because he let her sit there looking like a fool for a few minutes before remembering that she indeed was a hard core vegetarian, not just a situational one, and he spoke up in her behalf. Dona Yvonne quickly removed the plate, apologizing for not asking what she liked before she cooked. Sara waved it off, saying that it was a personal problem.

After dinner, Alex assisted Sara in a few games of spades, her sitting on his lap, letting him see her cards before placing them down. She won two games and lost the last, Alex telling her to make bad plays. His cousins teased him as she sat on his lap, saying that she "had him whipped" and he replied that he didn't mind in the least.

After dinner was over, and everyone had left, Dona Yvonne asked Sara to help her clean up in the kitchen and Alex went to chat with his father.

Sara pushed hair out of her face as she washed dishes then handed them to Dona Yvonne to dry.

"How long have you and Alex been dating?" She asked.

"Oh, about a month now," Sara said with a small smile.

"So you're the reason why he kept on coming to mass in a good mood," she laughed. "I'm glad that he's happy now. After everything with Xavier and his divorce from Vanessa, I didn't think I'd ever see my only son happy again. That is, until you."

Sara blushed with the compliment.

"He's told me about his ex-wife, Vanessa," Sara said, not sure if she should discuss anything any further. "She's still hackling him. She called him the other day on his cell phone asking when he would pick Xavier up from daycare. He told her she would have to because he was with me. Then, I felt kind of bad. I feel like I've intruded or something."

"No, you haven't," his mother said softly. "You've made Alex so happy. He has obviously made you happy. He's trying to detach himself from Vanessa now because, no matter what he does for her, she still can't seem to get enough even with him seeing Xavier. You're just what he needs and wants."

Sara grinned and ran her wet fingers through her hair.

"Thank you Dona Yvonne," Sara said with a bright smile.

When the two women were finished with the dishes, Sara looked in on Alex talking to his father. Father and son interacted well. They were deep in conversation about something or another, Sara just lost in Alex and not wanting to hear the conversation. She'd had this feeling before; the lost feeling. She'd felt it with Grissom.

When she first came to Vegas, she always marveled at his eyes…the beautiful blue of them making her lose all sense of time and place. That was when he had that spark in him, that thirst for life that she knew he only felt with her. But over the years that changed. His eyes changed to something much more hollow and tired. Eyes like what he had during the bizarre Debbie Marlin case. She didn't know him anymore. It broke her heart to know how he really felt about her.

She was his second chance at life…a chance that he chose not to take because he realized all that was involved. Sacrificing his career, his uncertainty that they would work out, unsure if he wanted her wholly. She remembered feeling sad and happy at the same time. She was happy that her four-year ordeal with overwhelming emotions and mixed messages was finally over because he finally had made himself clear. It wasn't that he didn't want her. He just got tired of the pursuit and the waiting for the right moment and her withdrawal and misunderstanding of him.

She understood his reasons completely, and she wasn't upset at him anymore. She couldn't be. His heart was broken too, along with hers and they were both left in the realm of what could have been between them.

Now, she felt that exact same lost feeling again, her stomach swirling with different emotions and feelings that she was familiar with, but had never gotten used to. It was a beautiful, glorious, yet unnerving feeling that sent shivers up her spine. Then the swirling in her stomach became a collapsed heat, staring at Alex's profile, that had turned into a warm, melting sensation that spread through her body. It made her feel loose and relaxed, so relaxed that she closed her eyes to the sensation, letting it caress her body like a silhouette and then, she allowed it to be pulled right down to her center, giving her thoughts erotic jolts of electricity.

Sara opened her eyes and she saw that he was looking at her, little knowing that he had the same feeling taking over his body as well. His father had gone outside to smoke a cigar and Sara came over to Alex and sat by him.

Alex noticed that she was emanating heat, and he took in her lustful beauty before leaning in and capturing her lips with his in a soft, short kiss.

__

Am I sure I'm ready for this feeling, this want? She asked herself. _I'm almost craving it now, and it's a horrible and wonderful feeling all at the same time._

"Are you ready to go?" He asked, his voice deep and husky.

Sara nodded, biting her lip as she played with the top buttons of his simple black shirt. She knew that she was eyeing him hungrily, like a lioness in a savannah hunting down her prey.

He took her hand and led her out back to say goodbye to his parents, before they quickly exited, unable to decided whether to go to his house or hers. While they both silently debated in their heads, Sara was becoming more aware of her own body as she felt the flush in her face an on her chest. Her hair on her neck suddenly became a new stimulation and she put it up with a spare ponytail.

Alex was gripping the steering wheel harder than usual. She was radiating heat, desire, and lust, and he'd never had that kind of response from a woman. He had reached a whole other level of want. He felt the urge to just pull over and take her right then and there, but arousal looked so exotic and beautiful on her.

He was instinctually heading to her home.

Sara saw familiar buildings and street signs and realized he was taking her home. She had been contemplating everything she thought she knew about sex; not that she was going to have it tonight, but she contemplated the subject anyway.

For her, it was more a natural progression. Feelings that had been upgraded to arousal through thoughtful examination of the man next to her. Sex for her had never been casual. She'd always taken it seriously, except for one time, and that was on the flight from Boston to San Francisco. But she was still young and stupid then; she hadn't realized how hard she fell for Grissom until she saw him at work again.

Then, years later, there was Hank. Their intercourse had pretty much been one-sided. He got most of the pleasure and took what he wanted from her then fell asleep, not feeding her need for conversation or closeness afterward.

Sara was fearful but she also found herself wanting so badly that the ache reverberated in her almost full heart. Alex didn't realize how happy he was making her. She felt like a woman again. She felt like she was starting to get back to who she really was. The woman from months ago was not her. She was the disgruntled, disillusioned part. The woman now was happy, vibrant, and more sensual than she ever thought she cold be.

__

Thank God! Home at last! Sara thought to herself. _I can't even think straight anymore._

Alex pulled rather harshly into her driveway and quickly turned off the car. It was then that she heard deep breathing and looked into his darkened eyes.

O-O-O

Everything else was like a blur as they fell into bed, naked, holding each other tightly, kissing passionately, lustfully and still wanting to be closer even after they let their bodies connect intimately. It was the single most wonderful feeling. Their skin was bathed in illustrious moonlight as they made love.

Alex moved slowly at first, then he gradually picked up the speed and pace, making Sara beg for mercy.

"Oh God," she whimpered. "Please…"

Sara dug her fingernails into the skin of his back, wrapped her legs around his waist, and moaned hotly into his neck, making his body shudder against hers with more arousal. They were both damp from heat and intimate movement, and Alex savored the feel of her body against his, the way her skin tasted, the swelling and sensitivity of her lips. She looked beautiful with the flushed glow of her cheeks, and her hair wildly splayed over the pillows. He sighed at the sound of her sensual whimpers, cries, and moans.

"Alex," Sara heard herself moan.

She'd never been this vocal before. She was overcome by the amount of sensations coursing through her body. She both demanded from him and surrendered to him. She liked the way his body complimented hers, basked in his passion, and relishing the feeling of his soft lips on hers.

"Sara," he sighed inches from her lips.

She gave herself over to him completely and they uttered each other's names as they gave into their passion.

They separated and cuddled up next to each other, both smiling in contentment.

Sara turned onto her side and rested her head on her elbow and Alex faced her, only resting on his elbow.

"Are you tired?" He asked.

Sara smiled and shook her head as she used her other hand to bring the covers up to cover her chest. Then she reached over and wiped the dampness from his Alex's forehead. Never had she seen him more sated. In fact, she'd never seen a man this comfortable after making love with her. Was she that good? Or was he proud of his own performance? Sweat on the forehead was a good thing, she supposed, and she found herself wanting to actually go for a second time.

__

That was incredible and beautiful at the same time, she thought. _Is wanting to do it again a good thing? Was this the right time to do this?_

Alex saw the hesitation in her eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

Sara began to trail her fingers down his chest.

"You were wonderful," she whispered.

"You were fantastic," he whispered back with a smirk.

Sara blushed.

"Do you want some coffee?" He asked.

Sara nodded. Sara watched as he searched around her spacious bedroom for his boxers. He was walking around, naked as the day he was born, and Sara took in every inch of his anatomy. He was in shape and well muscled; he had to be for the job, but his was more natural and she liked that.

"They're not there," she informed in a sultry tone. "Try looking by the laundry room."

He turned to her with a smirk. She mirrored his expression before he walked down the hallway. Sure enough, his boxers were where she had told him to look, hanging from the doorknob.

A while later, Alex returned with two cups of coffee in hand.

"Just the way you like it," he said as he handed Sara her favorite cup.

Sara inhaled the aroma and grinned.

"Mm, thank you," she said.

They sat in comfortable silence, sipping at their coffee before Sara began.

"You don't have to stay the whole night," Sara said. "I mean, you can if you want to, but you don't-"

He put his fingers to her lips before kissing them.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

Sara smiled and snuggled into the covers. Alex put his coffee aside and kissed her. Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him on top of her. The coffee was soon forgotten.

They made love again and the second time was even more pleasurable than the last.

Sara rested on top of him, kissing him deeply and passionately. She had never felt so sexual in her adult life. Doing it a third time was a tempting opportunity.

Alex tangled his fingers in her hair and kissed her. She was beautiful and sensual and he just couldn't resist her. Everything about her was sexy and beautiful.

"Mm," she moaned as she pulled away. "You arouse me."

Before he could even get a word out, her lips were on his again, and there was no more talking for the rest of the night.

O-O-O

Sara found herself having yet another erotic flashback of last weekend with Alex during work. They hadn't been able to see each other because of work, but she had plenty of memories to last her a while. Alex had called her to tell her that he was doing the same thing and that she was gorgeous.

Sara couldn't keep the smile from forming on her face, but she quickly went back into work mode before someone saw her.

Just then, Grissom walked in.

"How are you doing on this case?" He asked her.

"I'm just looking through the photos," she said.

Grissom tilted his head to one side and furrowed his eyebrows. Her skin didn't look as pale as it always does, and her hair was silkier, her eyes brighter, and her lips fuller. He associated that with her actually using her off time to rest.

"You look nice," he said. "Have you been getting better sleep lately?"

"Yeah," Sara nodded, trying not to give anything away because she didn't want Grissom to start prying.

He sat next to her.

"Are you and Detective Vartan still-"

"Yes, we are," Sara interrupted. "And yes, he makes me very happy, to answer both of your questions."

Grissom twisted his lips.

"I was actually going to ask you if you were planning on throwing a Christmas/housewarming party?" He asked. "I would really like to see your house."

Sara rested her cheek on her fist.

"Since you didn't come help me pack?" She asked with a grin. "Trying to make amends?"

After all the years Sara had known Grissom, he still baffled her. He was like a rubix cube. Distorted, and incredibly difficult to solve. She had wanted so many times for him to open up to her, and she was sure that he wanted the same thing from her, but she wouldn't give her heart without him giving her his first. She knew that she was slowly moving on with Alex, a part of her still wanted to know if Grissom loved her or not.

What she had with Alex right now was happiness, passion, and…comfort. It wasn't love as of yet, but she knew that it was getting to that point. He was someone that she could love and live happily with. He knew what it was like being alone and not having anybody to hold on to. And she believed him when he told her that until last weekend, he'd gone through a period of celibacy. Sara told him that she hadn't had intercourse in two years. They both knew what it felt like, not having someone to calm you when upset or someone to talk to even.

Over the last few months, Sara had felt isolated and she couldn't trust anyone with her thoughts or feelings. She thought she had gone crazy when she started rambling on angrily at her PEAP counselor about her family and about her anger over how she couldn't deal with her emotions anymore.

But now, she finally had someone that cared and possibly loved her for who she was and it felt so good.

"Sara?" Grissom broke into her thoughts.

"What?" She asked, coming out of her reverie. "Oh, yeah, the party. Um, yeah. I'll have it Christmas Eve. I'll call everyone and tell them."

Grissom nodded as his pager went off.

"I'll see you later," he said. "Brass has just paged me for suspect pick up."

He walked out and left Sara in peace.


	7. Chapter Seven

Winter's Rime

Chapter Seven

Sara and Alex collapsed on his bed, two very satisfied people.

"That was incredible," Sara panted as she pulled Alex into a deep kiss.

They finally had a chance to be together after nearly a week of being busy at work. Of course, their memories of the first night they made love lasted them until the present time when they could spend some time together.

Originally, they were supposed to do some Christmas shopping and prepare for her Christmas Eve party, but their plans were curtailed by their overwhelming need to continue the physical part of their relationship. They were still going out later, but they just wanted to be alone to have some time to themselves. Sara decided to stay at his house this time.

After sharing a deep, sensual kiss, they faced each other and linked their hands together.

"You are so good to me," Sara whispered.

Alex pushed a strand of hair from her face and kissed her.

Later after a nap and a refreshing shower, they headed out to do some shopping. Sara had quite a few items to get for the party, including a Christmas tree. She had no idea what to get any of her coworkers for Christmas this year. Especially Grissom and Catherine. Those two were the hardest to shop for. Grissom was just too strange, and Catherine was hard to please. Warrick and Nick were always pretty simple. They both liked things they could use.

And, most important of all, what to get Alex for Christmas?

Little did she know, Alex was asking himself what to get her for Christmas. He wanted to give her something special, but he didn't know what. He knew that she liked books, necklaces, and figurines. He had something to work with.

Sara knew that Alex liked books, music, and movies. She wanted their first Christmas as a couple to be special and something that they could cherish. Sara also had to think about her parents as well and her sister. She groaned and Alex heard.

"What?" He asked.

"My parents are coming into town next week," she said with furrowed eyebrows. "I have no clue what to get them for Christmas. I haven't seen them in years."

"Get them a gift that they can both use," Alex suggested. "Like a basket or something."

"That's a good idea," she said.

They browsed the shops on the strip, looking for party ideas. Her house was almost completely ready, and everything was pretty much how she wanted it for a long time coming.

"Do you think we'll have a good Christmas?" Sara asked doubtfully. "My parents aren't very nice people. They hate this city, but they're only coming to visit me."

"I think we're going to have a great Christmas," he assured her with a hug. "Even if your parents aren't the nicest people in the world, at least you know that they love you enough because they came to see you."

Sara smiled. "I guess that's true."

Sara and Alex linked hands and continued to browse.

O-O-O

Catherine drew back the curtains to take in the view from the hotel room.

"This is beautiful," she said with a smile. "And we have the entire weekend."

Warrick put their bags off to the side and then he went over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Catherine relaxed into his arms and sighed. She enjoyed him holding her. She'd never had someone that was just content to hold her and look over the city they had both grown up in with her.

"It's nice up here," she said.

Warrick kissed her neck and turned her around to face him.

"What do you want to do first?" He asked.

Catherine smirked at her initial idea, but she figured that could wait, especially since it wouldn't be the first time.

"Let's order some dinner first," she began, tugging at his tucked in shirt teasingly. "Then I thought that we could take a nice, hot bath, and I think you can fill in the blanks on the rest," she said as she slid away from him to sit on the bed.

Her back began to ache again and she winced.

"While we're waiting on our food, give me a massage," she asked of him. "My back is killing me."

After ordering room service, Warrick complied with Catherine's request after she took off her shirt and laid down on the plush bed. She moaned in relief and pleasure. The pain melted away from his caring touch, and she sighed. She loved this man more than she ever thought she could.

"Thank you," she said as she turned onto her back to face him. "I love you so much."

Warrick caressed her cheek before leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too," he whispered.

It was going to be a great weekend indeed.

O-O-O

Sara and Alex walked through the door to her house with bags full to the brim with Christmas decorations.

They placed several bags on the table.

"You want the receipts?" Alex asked.

"God no," Sara said, sitting at her kitchen table. "I don't want to die an early death."

He chuckled and threw the receipts away before sitting next to her. They looked at each other and grinned.

"You know we still have to go get the tree," he said.

"I know, but the tree can wait," she said as she leaned over and kissed him passionately. "I still can't get enough of you."

They took the bags off of the table and placed them on the floor before making use of it since they didn't want to travel to her bedroom. Clothes were thrown about the kitchen, and moans, laughs, and screams echoed throughout the house as they made love passionately.


	8. Chapter Eight

Winter's Rime

Chapter Eight

Alex was nervous about meeting Sara's parents.

Because of new airport security, he and Sara had to wait down in the baggage claim for her parents. Passengers started to fill up the area and Sara squeezed his hand in reassurance that everything would be just fine.

"They're going to love you," Sara soothed, knowing that was a complete lie. Her parents never like any of her boyfriends, especially when they were of…culture.

Her parents were the most uncultured people she knew, and they didn't take too kindly to anyone with a different background. They weren't racist or anything, it was just that they were in an area where they didn't see minorities too often and they lived by stereotypes. Sara closed her eyes, hoping that nothing would go wrong over Christmas.

Sara had to plaster a smile on when she saw her parents approaching her happily. She nudged Alex in the ribs so that he would know to smile too.

"Oh my God," Sara's mother said with a huge smile on her face. "Sara, you look so wonderful."

Sara hugged her mother and then she saw her father.

"Hello darling," he said, pulling her into a tight hug. "It's good to see you."

Sara smiled nervously and pulled away. "Where's Shelby and Tyler?"

"Oh, Shelby came down with the flu and decided to stay behind," Patricia explained. "And who is this gentleman?" Her mother asked.

"Mom, dad," Sara began. "This is Alex Vartan. Alex, this is my mom, Patricia Wellby-Dupont, and my dad, Harold Dupont."

Alex extended a hand to her father first and Harold shook it firmly.

"It's nice meeting you," Alex said as he shook Patricia's hand. "And you, Mrs. Dupont."

"Nice to meet you too," Patricia said. "Are you two dating?"

"Yes mom," Sara said. "A month now."

Sara was surprised that her mother wasn't acting like she usually did when she met her boyfriends. She was actually quite friendly and understanding.

"Well that is wonderful," Harold said. "Sara's a beautiful young woman."

"That she is," Alex agreed, taking Sara's hand. "Um, I'll go get your bags."

Alex went over to the carousel with Harold as Patricia stayed behind with Sara to chat.

"So, is he…" Patricia began.

"Yes mom, he's Mexican," Sara sighed crossing her arms. "Don't start mom, okay?"

"What darling?" Her mother asked defensively. "I'm not starting anything. It's just a question."

"No mom, it's never just a question with you," Sara said, dropping her arms to her side and walking away. "Look, I happen to like Alex, maybe even love him okay? Please don't make this Christmas miserable. I really am looking forward to your vacation here with me but if you're going to be the same Patricia Wellby-Dupont that I left in Boston ten years ago, then you can forget spending Christmas with me."

Deciding that she'd given her mother a good ultimatum, Sara walked over and assisted Alex with the bags.

"Daddy, how much did you pack?" Sara asked. "How long are you planning to stay?"

"Well Sara, we just decided that we wanted to stay in the city for a while," Patricia said. "We're thinking about retiring here," she sighed. "It's your father's silly idea."

"Hardly silly," Harold said defensively. "This city grows on you after a while."

Sara and Patricia looked at each other and sighed.

Harold patted Alex on his back.

"Let's get this show on the road," Harold said cheerily.

O-O-O

Alex looked over to Sara as they approached her home. Sara was wringing her fingers in her hands as she waited for the right moment to tell her parents that she had bough a house.

"Sara, I thought you lived in an apartment?" Her mother asked.

"It's not a boarding house is it?" Her father assumed. "Don't worry Sara, you don't have to be embarrassed, we'll give you help if you need it."

Sara sighed in frustration and rolled her eyes. Her parents could be so embarrassing. Alex would not survive her family, nor would her parents survive his family. This was not going to be a pleasant Christmas, she knew. Alex would drop her like a hot potato after spending two weeks with her parents.

When Alex stopped, Sara bit her lip.

"Who lives here?" Her mother asked.

"I do," Sara said with a sigh. "I bought a house mom."

Patricia looked out the window and smiled.

"I'm very proud of you sweetheart," she said happily. "It's absolutely beautiful."

Sara smiled faintly as she stepped out. Her mother was in an unusually chipper mood. Sara knew that something was up and she wanted to know what as soon as she had a moment alone with her mother.

Patricia Dupont was at the ripe age of forty five, (but didn't look it for a second) and she had long, silky, dark hair that was pulled back into a tight bun, most likely for traveling on the plane. She was a healthy woman and comfortable in a size ten, and she dressed conservatively. She had beautiful chocolate eyes and a complexion to die for. Alex noticed that Sara looked nothing like either of her parents, but that could happen.

Sara knew her mother well. She was always serious and stern, being strong in any situation. Sara was surprised that her mother didn't like Vegas. She would fit right in.

But this time, her mother had a strange glow about her, and she seemed happier and less stoic.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Patricia Dupont?" Sara asked as her mother hugged her again and hooked her arm in Sara's.

"Oh darling stop being so dramatic," her mother insisted. "I'm fine. Nothing has changed."

Once everyone was inside, Sara helped her parents settle in.

"Here's your room," Sara said, opening the door. "It's the purple room. The bathroom is through this door, and the closet is right here. Alex and I will be down the hall, and fresh towels are in the laundry room."

Harold nodded and then furrowed his eyebrows.

"Wait, you aren't sleeping in the same bed are you?" He asked.

Sara looked at Alex, who was red as a pepper. Deciding to be bold, Sara grinned.

"Yeah," she said. "If you need anything, just knock. Come on Alex. We'll let you get settled and then we'll have some dinner."

Harold looked to his wife who was in her own world as she sat on the bed and looked after her daughter.

"Isn't it wonderful Harold?" She asked as she took off her sweater. "Our little girl is just beautiful. She's grown up so much."

"Wait a minute," Harold said sitting next to her. "You're okay with her sleeping in the same bed with a man she's not married to?"

"She's a grown woman honey," Patricia said. "I'm not saying its right, but she looks so happy and in love. I don't care much how she does things, as long as she's happy."

Harold put an arm around his wife's shoulders and hugged her close.

"So, he's uh…"

"Mexican, yes," Patricia finished for him. "But don't say anything about it to Sara. Besides, he looks like a nice respectable man."

Harold looked at his wife with an expectant look.

"You approve?" He asked, and she nodded.

They sat on the bed for a few minutes, taking in the scent of lavender in the purple room. They were jetlagged completely and wanted to just go to sleep, but Patricia needed something to eat.

"So, do you think we should tell her?" Harold asked.

"Do you think that she's ready to hear it?" Patricia asked. "Harold, she doesn't need to know. She's had a rough couple of years already."

He nodded and kissed his wife's forehead. She sighed and looked down at her finger nails.

"Alright," she surrendered. "She needs to know the truth."

Harold stood up and held his hand out to his beautiful wife and she accepted, letting him pull her up into his arms. She smiled and let down her hair. They kissed sweetly. Patricia laughed sultrily.

"Hmm," she began. "I'm starting to think that we should have stayed in a hotel."

Harold smiled devilishly as he squeezed her butt.

"Just be very, very quiet," he whispered.

Patricia laughed again before they headed out.

O-O-O

Harold Dupont was forty nine years old, and he was successful in the banking business. He had worked his way up for twenty years to earn chairman of the board of trustees to the Bank of Boston. He'd given his wife and daughters lavish surroundings and he enjoyed the social status. Of course, his love for his wife never faltered.

The more successful he got, the more deeply in love he fell with Patricia. They had a passionate relationship, and he never loved his wife more than he did at the present time.

Sara wanted that kind of relationship. She hoped that she would have it with Alex.

Her parents seemed extra loving and touchy feely this time. The Duponts were a very private couple, and for them to kiss and cuddle openly was not something Sara was used to seeing.

When she was a teen, the most affection she ever saw her parents give each other in front of her was a peck on each other's cheeks. But this was different many moons later: they were kissing each other fully on the lips and caressing each other under each other's coats. She could see where they were touching, they weren't that slick.

Sara smiled in spite of herself. It was cute, actually. Alex seemed a little uncomfortable, unsure if he should be seeing her parents' PDA in the backseat.

"So, where are we going to dinner?" Harold asked after kissing his wife once more.

"Romanini's," Sara said. "It has the best Italian in the city."

"Oh, Italian?" Patricia asked. "I don't know if my stomach can handle Italian."

"Mom, you can order a salad or something," Sara said. "They have great soup if you're not that hungry."

"Sounds great," Patricia said rather reluctantly.

Sara looked at her mother strangely.

O-O-O

"So Alex, what do you do for a living?" Harold asked as he dug into his steak.

Alex put his fork down and wiped his mouth before starting.

"I'm a detective for the Las Vegas Police Department," he said.

"Wow," Patricia said. "That must be very exciting. So, you deal with all the dead bodies and whatnot?"

"Um, no," he chuckled. "That's Sara's job. I just ask the questions."

Sara's parents nodded.

"He's a nominee for a chance to be Lieutenant," Sara added proudly.

Alex turned bashful as her parents nodded in interest.

"So, how do you two balance?" Harold asked. "It's got to be rough working in the same kind of career path."

Sara and Alex looked at each other.

"Um, well," Sara began. "We're just kind of taking things in stride. We'll think about that later."

"Yeah, I mean, lately we've been spending every available moment together," he explained. "We take our breaks together too."

"Ah," Harold said, not quite understanding, but okay with the answer they gave.

Patricia sighed and put her spoon down.

"I can't eat another bite," she said.

Sara frowned.

"Mom, you've barely eaten anything," Sara noticed. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine darling," she sighed.

"She's more than fine, actually," Harold said with a small smile. "Go ahead and tell her honey."

"Do I have to?" She asked with a groan.

Sara smiled.

"Tell me what?" She asked. "It's not bad is it?"

"No dear, hardly," Patricia laughed. "It's actually quite funny," she began to giggle. "I mean, who would have ever thought, at _my_ age…"

Sara and Alex looked at each other, fearing the worst despite her mother's reassurance.

"Mom, what is it?" Sara asked rather impatiently as her mother began to flat out laugh.

Sara loved her mother's laugh even though her mother drove her insane half the time.

"Oh," Patricia stopped giggling. "Darling, I'm pregnant."

Sara thought she may have heard wrong over the rather loud music.

"Excuse me?" Sara asked. "You're what?"

"I'm pregnant," Patricia said with a bright smile. "Can you believe it?"

Sara was completely dumbfounded.

O-O-O

When they arrived home, Sara and her mother went out back to have a talk. Harold and Alex stayed inside to have a conversation.

Patricia came over to her daughter and sat next to her on the swing. Sara sighed and looked up at the stars. Her mother gazed up at the sky with her daughter. Patricia hadn't seen skies as clear as this since her childhood in Montana. It reminded her that life was beautiful and that anything was possible. Sara looked over to her mother and rested her hand on her mother's still flat belly.

"How far along are you?" Sara asked.

"The doctor said that I'm only six weeks along," Patricia said in a voice that indicated that she was in some far off place. "He's a good doctor. I fired the last one because he told me that it would be impossible for me to conceive. He predicted that the "change of life" would be approaching over the next few months," Patricia dabbed at her eyes. "Harold and I believed him and we kind of went crazy. Shelby moved back out with Tyler, and we had the house to ourselves…"

Sara nodded and rubbed her mother's back as she began to cry.

"At first, when I started feeling more tired and faint at work, I thought that I was starting to go through menopause," Patricia explained. "But when I threw up my teriyaki chicken and rice noodles, my favorite meal, I started to suspect. When I started throwing up every morning at work, I knew that something was amiss. Harold insisted that it was the stomach flu."

Sara hugged her mother as she cried harder. It was amazing that her mother was going to have a child. Her own flesh and blood after so many years.

"I didn't want to fool myself," she cried. "I thought to myself that it would be so cruel to even think that I may be pregnant. I didn't want to tell you father anything until I made absolutely sure. So, I bought a pregnancy test and snuck into the restrooms at work. The first one said positive. I told your father and he was shocked. I took a second test, not believing the first one, and sure enough, positive."

Sara hugged her mother.

"I think that's wonderful mom," Sara said. "It's truly a miracle."

"I don't know if I can do this Sara," Patricia cried. "I'm forty five years old. I'll be sixty five by the time this child is twenty. Oh God, I feel so old."

"Mom, you're obviously not too old for a baby if you're having one now," Sara chuckled. "You've been a great mother to me and Shelby. Now you can be a great mother to your baby. This is _your_ baby. Made of you."

Patricia sighed and wiped her tears.

She was having a baby.


End file.
